Ramjaane, Author at Arré

My Pilgrimage to the Old Monk Factory

I’m a diehard lover of Old Monk, so much so that I visited its factory in Solan. And when the manager refused to give me miniature Old Monk bottles, I just slipped some in my pocket and ran.

Ramjaane May 25, 2016

POV

Can We Resolve to Stop Stinking in 2018?

2017 ignored the problems that are technically issues, but don’t quite qualify because not enough people feel strongly about them. It’s time we brought some of these issues to the fore in 2018: Vegetarian seekh kebab for instance and people who smell bad.

Ramjaane May 18, 2016

POV

Woke in the Streets, Privileged in the Sheets: The Birth of the Half-Liberal

Deluded do-gooders – people who make the right noises about the right trending things – are everywhere today. They sit in air-conditioned conference rooms, with a plastic Bisleri bottle on every table discussing global warming. They outrage about #EqualPay, but will choose to exploit the bai.

Ramjaane May 3, 2016

POV

Why We Indians Are Nothing Like Our National Animal

Is the tiger the correct choice for our national animal? Maybe not. Because we are nothing like the tiger. A lazy panda is what we should’ve picked.

Ramjaane April 27, 2016

Vice

Quit If You Want, But You Will Always Be a Smoker

To quit smoking doesn’t mean taking your lungs off a diet of toxic smoke. In many ways, it feels like ceasing to be who you are.

Ramjaane April 21, 2016

Modern Family

Suno Sasurjee: Scoring an Own Goal with My Father-in-Law Over FIFA

The FIFA World Cup presented a golden opportunity to bond with my new father-in-law. Or so I thought. For the first time in my life, I watched a match at a geriatric club, in the company of vegetarian seekh kebabs and betting oldies.

Ramjaane April 10, 2016

POV

Why Moving Out of Your Parent’s House is Overrated

I thought moving out would be about no deadlines, no curfews, and no rules. But it is about waiting for a plumber, paying rent and bills, waking up early to fill the water tank, and eating bland, self-cooked food. I didn’t do drugs, I did dishes.

Ramjaane March 25, 2016

POV

The Last Puran Poli: The Kobra Secret You Didn’t Know About

Marwaris are often called out for their miserly behaviour, but the kanjoosi of Kokanastha Brahmins has remained a secret. In a time of lavish weddings and four live counters, Kobra weddings will offer you four sabzis and a dal, food lesser than an average Punjabi lunch.

Ramjaane March 9, 2016

POV

“Kripya Line Pe Bane Rahein”: Why Indians Never Change Career Paths

“Media line mein paisa hai kya?” That’s a question I often get asked. In India, picking a career and sticking to it is important. Because changing professions is a sign of fickleness and instability. But more than that, it sends your parents into a tizzy.

Ramjaane March 4, 2016