I’ve imposed a ban on attending nikaahs within the family. Being Muslim means that I can marry a cousin. Which means the potential of a “bhaijaan” to morph overnight into a prospective groom is 100 per cent and family weddings turn into a cringey, IRL version of Minder.

In 2018, we don’t introduce ourselves on the internet. Instead, we ration our emotions, perfect our personalities, and assemble our opinions so we can sell ourselves as a faultless commodity. We create a brand of ourselves and then spend all our energy in selling the best versions of ourselves to people on the internet.

Manto’s stories can broadly be divided into two sections: the ones about Partition, and the ones about Mumbai. The latter are the ones I admire the most, when he wrote about the dingy alleys of the city, where prostitutes, pimps, and decent men met, their dreams and desires in tow and humanity intact.

Your mean aunt or nasty neighbour suffer from a dreaded condition. It is called Phuppoism. It is characterised by an ability to constantly find yourself in a place where you have no business to be – such as the lives of others.

I can understand the motivation to make every moment count on the weekend. After all, our waking hours are spent in a cramped office with a bunch of people we can barely tolerate. But Weekend Warriors, determined to tick off every box on their “Having Fun” checklist, put the “weak” in weekend.

In a cruel and unusual case of “It Happens Only in India”, Shambhu Lal Regar, the man who committed murder on camera, has become a folk hero to jackasses across the country. Reports have emerged that he will now contest the Lok Sabha elections in Agra next year.

A long-forgotten classmate announces he’s getting hitched, and from that point on, it’s likes, camera, action. Social media has turned the simple proposal into an affair more elaborate than the Royal Wedding and Modiji’s inauguration ceremony put together.

How many nuggets can one person eat? Make these chicken nuggets, challenge your friends to an eat off and find out. #SaturdaySceneSorted

Discovering new shows is the millennial equivalent of a day at Disneyland. What’s better than discovering that most of this year’s Emmy-winning shows are already sitting on your Hotstar Premium account, just waiting for some love?

Despite Barney Stinson’s effortless smoothness with women, he hated them. How can a womaniser hate women, you ask? If you think about it, misogyny is inextricably linked with men like Barney, because how else do you instantly reduce women to mere conquests?