Football Shootball Hai Rabba


Football Shootball Hai Rabba

Illustration: Saachi Mehta/ Arré


ith just a few hours to go before the FIFA World Cup kicks off, I’m gripped with the fear of the unknown, like I am ahead of any grand Punjabi wedding. I’m left with that same ominous, sinking feeling, that things could go horribly, horribly wrong. It’s going to be Anupam Kher, isn’t it? Talking about the beautiful game with great nationalistic pride, invited only because the top of his head has a remote resemblance to the most famous bald head in world football.

My money is on one mention of the apocryphal tale of the Indian football team of days gone by being made in the first five minutes: how they qualified for the World Cup even though they were unable to afford shoes, and then not being allowed to participate. On the side, along with Anupam Uncle, there’ll be Miss Malini discussing the trajectory of Mo Salah’s free kicks with youth icon Riteish Deshmukh, the latter proclaiming that our Virat would have made a great footballer as well.