Your Penis Is Not Special

Social Commentary

Your Penis Is Not Special

Illustration: Akshita Monga


grew up in a household where it wasn’t unusual to see my dad cross his legs while reading his morning newspaper. It never occurred to him that the gap between your legs is directly proportional to how manly you come across to society. It wasn’t until my friends at my tuition classes started making sly remarks about my posture that I learned the mathematics of masculinity. The direct ratio of manspread width to testosterone levels was the most important equation in this syllabus.

“Dekh kaisa ladies log ki tarah baitha hai,” they would say, and the whole class would leak a chuckle, including the girls. It was only then that I realised that the package between my legs was to be displayed to maximum effect. What sat between my legs was special and deserved airing. Crossing my legs would only mean that the world could no longer enjoy the pleasure of having a clear view of it.