Tohfa Tohfa Tohfa: Why the “Perfect Gift” Doesn’t Exist For the Married Indian Couple

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Tohfa Tohfa Tohfa: Why the “Perfect Gift” Doesn’t Exist For the Married Indian Couple

Illustration: Sushant Ahire

T

he biggest challenge in any committed long-term romantic relationship is the process of getting gifts for your significant other. Trying to find that perfect gift once in a lifetime is hard enough but attempting to do it on every momentous occasion like the anniversary of your first fight or the first time you were both violently ill is like trying to get that flawless selfie on your first try: incredibly delusional.

In my experience, there exists no “perfect gift” – one that encapsulates the length and breadth of every romantic emotion that you might have felt for your partner while simultaneously making them feel like they’re the most special person in the world – for the domesticated and slightly bored married couple. You see, what constitutes the perfect gift for them depends on an infinite number of mood-altering variables like the gift the neighbour bought his wife, the amount of hair on their head, what their frown or loud sigh meant to convey on the day you forgot your anniversary, or whether the recent behaviour of the respective in-laws was polite or rude. What a lot of people forget is that this invariably makes exchanging gifts between this breed, a highly sensitive act that requires the diplomacy of a hostage negotiator, not the creativity of an ad professional.

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