By Purba Ray Jan. 21, 2022
Dear Men, I support your movement. I just want you to stay true to it, for a while, for a long long time actually. We don’t deserve you, yes we don’t.
The Delhi High Court is hearing a challenge to the constitutional validity of ‘marital rape immunity’ provided for in the Indian Penal Code. This is getting men’s chaddis in a twist – this time maybe even across the ideological divide. If this exception is struck off, it will be a terrible blow to married men’s rights to rape their wives. At least that is what it sounds like, right now. What terrible timing. As if it was not bad enough for men who have to deal with consent, moderate their own behaviour and keep their hands and ill-intentions to themselves at workplaces, they will now have to deal with a wife who may have legal rights to say no to forceful sex! The horror!
The Delhi High Court is hearing a challenge to the constitutional validity of ‘marital rape immunity’ provided for in the Indian Penal Code. This is getting men’s chaddis in a twist.
This is ghor kalyug, I tell you! If the husband can be sent to jail for having sex against his wife’s wishes, surely it will destroy the family, ruin children and the marriage itself. Show me a child who doesn’t like growing up in an environment where they see their father diminish his wife with words and actions and makes her feel like a disposable ‘body’. Kudos to these men for their efforts in normalising abuse. It must be rewarding, reliving the trauma of living with a near-suicidal mother who was stuck in an abusive marriage because she had no choice. Or at least made to think she had no choice.
We can’t let women exercise their rights over their bodies, can we? Especially after centuries of conditioning, telling them what to wear. We slut shame the same women for saying yes to pre-marital sex and now want to sanskar shame them for saying no to post-marital rape. At this point, the woman doesn’t even sound like a human being, but a robot whose existence is defined by what the man she is born to serve, says.
Dear upholders of men’s rights, please continue making any amendments in laws to empower women all about yourself.
Marriage is a sacred institution where a woman leaves her parents and ambitions behind to provide hot chapatis and cute babies (preferably sons who become engineers and MBAs) to her husband. It must be written in some vague mythological text or in wisdoms passed on by the cannot-be-faulted elderly misogynists, that the wife must slave for the house so that her husband has ample time to give an Oscar-worthy performance playing the martyr and sharing shaadi is barbadi jokes in his WA groups. Which is why, I fully support #MarriageStrike, a hashtag started by beleaguered men who will no longer feel safe to abuse their better halves in the comfort of their own homes if raping your wife is made a criminal offense. They have truly been ‘screwed’ on this one.
Marriage is a sacred institution where a woman leaves her parents and ambitions behind to provide hot chapatis and cute babies (preferably sons who become engineers and MBAs) to her husband.
You absolutely must waste no time wondering why you have to use brute force to get her to have sex with you. It can’t possibly be your fault that she doesn’t desire you. Your masculinity will feel threatened if you waste your efforts on trying to become a likeable person, she actually desires. Instead, please focus your energies on making sure, she doesn’t even get to No. To make sure you own her. Filing a rape charge is, anyway, a breeze for women. The hostility, disbelief and the character assassination that follows is such a joyride that many of us nurture filing rape cases as a hobby.
Dear men, please do not get blinded by the logic that just like laws get misused, unchecked power can too. Nobody should question your right as your position as the superhero of the household, the person who knows it all and will probably, do it all (including the sex). What’s with equality in the bedroom, her pleasure, her desire. Who has the time, right.
I am with your bros. Fuck equality.
We slut shame the same women for saying yes to pre-marital sex and now want to sanskar shame them for saying no to post-marital rape.
Right now I’m trying really hard to imagine your trauma of coming home to a wife who doesn’t wish to have sex just because she’s grieving for her friend (assuming you let her have any) or just not in the mental space to do anything. Real men should never have to bow down to excuses like migraine attacks, painful periods or a bloody miscarriage. You’re the Shark of this Ghar Tank, you should get what you want.
If not your husband then who, you witches?
Dear men, please do not get blinded by the logic that just like laws get misused, unchecked power can too.
Dear upholders of men’s rights, please continue making any amendments in laws to empower women all about yourself. Just a tiny suggestion. Don’t strike off marriage for just a year as a counter to Delhi High court proceedings. Please mark yourselves safe from marriage for the rest of your lives. We women do not deserve men who are yet to grasp that sex can actually be pleasurable and an act of love when it is between two consenting adults. We don’t deserve, you to be honest. Spare us the shame of living next to your greatness. Say NO, and keep saying it for a while.
Nearly funny, almost liberal, rarely serious, Purba likes to keep a safe distance from perfection. Unfortunately she has an opinion on everything, fact or fiction, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long and short.