Everyone Has a Destination Wedding & Cringey Hashtag. Celebrity Shaadis Like DeepVeer’s Will Have to Try Harder

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Everyone Has a Destination Wedding & Cringey Hashtag. Celebrity Shaadis Like DeepVeer’s Will Have to Try Harder

Illustration: Akshita Monga

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ven as Ranveer Singh, the super-excited heartthrob of our times with a fount of cartoon-y energy, married his actor sweetheart, the very proper Deepika Padukone last week, there were two other weddings that I was closely following. After all, this is peak Indian shaadi season. One was of a school friend, now married to the love of her life, while the other was an acquaintance, someone I know more virtually than IRL. Frankly, judging solely by the pictures and videos that were being circulated on social media, I couldn’t tell the three weddings apart. All the three shaadis had the *same* tropes – the only difference was that one cost several crores.

Now now, hear me out. I know DeepVeer’s wedding was in Lake Como in Italy, just like another power couple, Virushka’s, was in Tuscany. I also know that the two gorgeous actors wore Sabyasachi, that they kept the ceremonies a private affair, and when they shared photographs with the world, it was in their own sweet time and not through the pages of a Bollywood magazine. Yes, it was all done in great taste and no commoner could possibly dream of such a wedding.

But doesn’t every wedding that you see on Facebook or Instagram, or attend for that matter, tick these or similar parameters? My school friend got married at a dreamy resort in Udaipur, looking as pretty as the sunset in the beautiful Rajasthani city. She wore a designer lehenga as well. Their wedding too had a cringey hashtag that clumsily mashed the bride and groom’s names. And the couple even had a pre-wedding shoot in one of the capital’s many heritage monument complexes.

The other acquaintance from Instagram, went a step ahead (though definitely a few steps behind DeepVeer). Not only did she get married at a Goa resort with purple as their “love theme”, they even had a pyjama party, a sort of mixed bachelor/bachelorette soiree that was carefully documented for its carefree moments, and curated splendidly for social media.

So, with all due respect for all celebrities getting married, excuse me if I don’t go gaga over your nuptials. Yes, the wedding makes for amazing eye candy for a spot, we’ll probably make mental notes from the outfits for our local masterji, but really, it’s a story we’ve seen before where only the actors keep changing.

At the end of what seemed to be the last day of festivities for all the three couples, each of them shared beautiful photographs of their special day across platforms. Be it Ranveer and Deepika who managed a super private wedding and teased the world with just two amazing photos, or the people I know who posed for “together forever” photos and looked just as dreamy and in love as the Bollywood couple.

So sure, congrats to the famous lovebirds for taking their relationship to the next level, but I fear our celebrity weddings will have to work harder from now on – because there is no novelty left that Aakash and Neha from East Delhi or Jogeshwari West aren’t already recreating. The long-legged lass with chudas dangling from her wrists as she gives her husband a semi-hug in front of a lake, could be Sandhya or Sunita – or it could be Deepika. The effervescent groom who can’t stop laughing because he looks like he can’t believe his luck at who he has managed to marry, could be Aseem or Vikram – or it could be Ranveer.

The same tropes are now everywhere – the dreamy destinations, the handsome guys in bandhgalas and goggles dancing in the sun, the sari-clad classy beauties playfully horsing around… I think I really have seen it all.

Like every modern malaise or minor complaint, we can blame social media for this sense of tedium. Whether you are a celebrity or a commoner, the urge to have pretty photographs that indicate a beautiful, happy, content life, is within us all. In fact, it is in the nature of this beast to induce anxiety. For was it even a wedding if there are no “candid” photos to prove it?

The effervescent groom who can’t stop laughing because he looks like he can’t believe his luck at who he has managed to marry, could be Aseem or Vikram – or it could be Ranveer.

And then, just like Geet from Jab We Met, several of us have shaadi aspirations, of elaborate weddings where we have thought of every detail numerous times. And everytime we attend a grand one, it only makes us want a better, dreamier one. Which is why Shilpa Shetty’s Swarovski-loaded wedding saree has today been toppled in Karol Bagh market by Deepika’s designer chunri that read “saubhagyawati bhava”.

So, with all due respect for all celebrities getting married, excuse me if I don’t go gaga over your nuptials. Yes, the wedding makes for amazing eye candy for a spot, we’ll probably make mental notes from the outfits for our local masterji, but really, it’s a story we’ve seen before where only the actors keep changing. In some cases, even the sets (read Italy) don’t change. (Already gearing up for a deluge of #LakeComoWedding to flood my timeline next year.)

I’ll tell you what I am looking forward to – a celebrity court wedding and that too in denims. Or a ceremony where the celeb’s favourite pets are allowed, a la Kaley Cuoco. Or a function that celebrates Mother Nature while also the union of two souls. That’s something more of us could get behind.

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