Fantastic Feasts and Where to Find Them

Hype Weds Hysteria

Fantastic Feasts and Where to Find Them

Illustration: Shivali Devalkar


n the olden days when dinosaurs walked the earth, a wedding was about celebrating the coming together of two families. Luckily we have moved on from those dark days and now it’s all about proving that you’re better than anyone else. Speaking on behalf of the unwashed masses, can I say that I am delighted. Given that the one-upmanship includes food, this is definitely the definition of progress. Who really cares about families shamilies as long as you are being competitively fed, right?

So here’s the thing. Food has always been important at a wedding – as a wedding attendee of a fairly impressive level of experience and expertise myself, I can attest to that. But what’s happened is that since food is now the front and centre of the whole wedding thang, there’s a whole new enthusiasm and energy that goes into it. This abundance doesn’t come cheap for the hosts, but hey, it’s a small sacrifice they have to make for upholding the social fabric of our nation – i.e. keeping up with the Sharmas. After all, there are soldiers on the borders getting shot at who aren’t complaining as they uphold the national interest, so wedding hosts better step up and do their bit. (I luuurrrve this soldiers on the border argument, because even though I don’t understand it at all, I know that it makes everyone shut up and feel bad, so I use it all the time in every context.)