The Poster Boys of Affluenza

First Person

The Poster Boys of Affluenza

Illustration: Namaah/ Arré


here is a chain of stores in the city that prides itself on selling stuff like truffle-scented organic cacao beans and artisanal bread baked by the blind. It’s called Nature’s Casket. Now, it has been proved by careful scientific research that such stores are full of pretentious pricks. It was during my time there as a humble store supervisor (read piss boy for the rich) that I met El Fatfucko. No, that’s not his real name just as it’s not called Nature’s Casket. Duh.

Anyway, Senor Fatfucko was some sort of a real estate tycoon, who inherited his father’s steel mill. Also, he might’ve been a coke dealer. He rocked bespoke shoes, tailor-made Egyptian cotton shirts and wore a limited edition Jaeger-LeCoultre.