Welcome to Mumbai, Where Life’s a Versova Beach

Satire

Welcome to Mumbai, Where Life’s a Versova Beach

Illustration: Sushant Ahire/Arré

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froz Shah shot to fame on the back of the snowflake agenda of trying to pick trash off the beach because of something called global warming. Ignoring the fact that he lives in a city where paan stains stand in for street art, he attempted to change Mumbai into some kind of First-World city like Prague or something. Can you imagine that. As if we needed pretty people and fun activities on our beaches. If this wasn’t enough he tried to displace the drug addicts and the mini gangs that operate out of there with people who jog for fun. The gall of the guy.

The problem with Afroz Shah, who recently gave up his 109-week campaign to clean up Versova beach, is that he forgets he lives in a city where no good things are allowed to happen. Bought a new car? Oops, your neighbour just broke the window in a fit of rage. Bought a new bike? Oops, it’s now monsoon for six months. Borrowed a friend’s cycle? Oops, you just lost both your legs in a horrific pothole-related tragedy. For years, the BMC has ruled over this land with an iron fist… one that fell off a Ganpati procession in the middle of the Eastern Expressway one year. Who the hell does Afroz Shah think he is to just come in and try and change all that?

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