Vijay Mallya, Every 15-year-old Boy’s Hero

Satire

Vijay Mallya, Every 15-year-old Boy’s Hero

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

“V

ijay Mallya has the most ideal life,” said every 15-year-old boy ever.

The billionaire has his own calendar, for which he hires the most attractive girls in the country to come and pose for him. That’s his day job. When not out socialising with models and actresses whom he will pay big money to appear on said calendar, he’s spending his time doing things like buying a bunch of airplanes for fun, and giving out free headphones like some kind of business-tard. He’s so awesome he doesn’t even have to bother paying salaries. “And I wasn’t sure I’d be hired after my last exam result,” said every 15-year-old boy ever.

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