Swacch Bharat Abhi Man, the Superhero We Deserve (But Don’t Need)


Swacch Bharat Abhi Man, the Superhero We Deserve (But Don’t Need)

Illustration: Juergen Dsouza


hen Swami was just a little boy, he was taking an autorickshaw to annual day practice in Mumbai’s Vile Parle suburb. At a busy junction in Santacruz, while he was staring deeply into his Walkman, he was distracted by a guttural sound coming from the front seat. The man who was escorting him to play practice, had currently lost control of his internal organ functioning, and was  in the process of depositing what looked like chunks of his lung out onto the street. Young Swami, who was unaware of what shape paan takes when it is discharged from the mouth with great force, was disturbed.

But that was not the end of Swami’s story. Two minutes into the ride, he glanced down at his feet, and noticed that some of the expectorate had caught the only breeze Mumbai had seen in 12 years and landed on his toe. In between trying not to faint with disgust, he attempted to feebly bring this to the rickshawallah’s notice. But the driver had moved on to his next goal – trying to murder every person on a two-wheeler in the city, as his vehicle let out furious fumes. So the protest was lost.