Road to Sedition

Satire

Road to Sedition

Illustration: Akshita Monga

I

have no idea what’s up with Ramya. By declining to put Pakistan in “hell” how dare she insinuate that it is not a mythical place of torture populated by sinners and a demonic overlord with a trident that he occasionally puts up someone’s ass? There’s more. She said people in Pakistan were “just like us”. She actually suggested that we used to be the same country about 70 years ago. OMG! That’s brand new information.

Soon after, a lawyer named Katnamane Vittal Gowda, who’d up until that point been shooting the breeze by having chai outside court, found his nationalism stoked and decided to file a complaint against the former Lok Sabha MP for sedition, among other things. Gowda was apparently “appalled” that Ramya praised a country that India blames for promoting terrorism. The BJP’s student wing also decided to stop pretending to care about student issues to hold another protest against anti-nationalism. There a BJP member named Jaggesh said, “People who have not studied and don’t have any experience are praising Pakistan. They should be given a peace prize…”

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