Raghuram Rajan’s Fraud List Report Landed in Junk Mail Folder, Claims BJP Investigation

Satire

Raghuram Rajan’s Fraud List Report Landed in Junk Mail Folder, Claims BJP Investigation

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

In an explosive exclusive, the BJP has claimed that the reason they did not act upon former RBI Governor Raghuram Rajan’s list of high-profile fraud cases sent to the Prime Minister’s Office, was because his email had landed in their junk mail folder. This was revealed after a high-level investigation was launched into the matter. Rajan had earlier said that he was surprised that the report did not garner any response despite mentioning “URGENT” in the subject line.  

It must be noted that the BJP’s alacrity in the matter is highly appreciated, if unusual. Sources tell us the former governor’s accusations came “late in the evening,” i.e. post 5 pm, when the bureaucrats had already left for the day. The PMO then directed BJP’s IT cell to investigate the subject – which took all of 30 seconds because of the ultra-high-speed Jio broadband connection. It threw up the shocking revelation that Rajan’s email never actually reached the PMO’s official inbox. However, it landed in the junk mail, just like the news on the decriminalisation of Sec 377. “How do you expect the PMO to react to a piece of information it has not even received,” asked a BJP leader.     

Understandably, there is rightful indignation against Rajan among the BJP. At a press conference today, a spokesperson came down heavily on the former RBI governor. “He should have done his ground work, before indulging in such loose talks.” When someone pointed out, “Sir, how will a sender know where his email has gone?”, the spokesperson snapped back, “Then he should have printed his email, notarised it, signed it and sent it to us. In triplicate. We’ve anyway got our hands full following up on Aadhaar leaks – are we expected to scour through our junk mail now?”

“It looks like Rajan has been too busy doing unimportant things like compiling the long list of fraudsters and drafting reforms for the banking sector.”

The spokesperson continued, “Why did the email go to the junk email folder? Because it had come from an unknown, unverified person. We are living in a time of Twitter, where anyone with 500 followers can get a verified account – you only need apply. Or, he could have tweeted the report to the PMO. Isn’t he aware that the PMO is more active on social media than anywhere else?”

“Instead of doing these simple things, it looks like Rajan has been too busy doing unimportant things like compiling the long list of fraudsters and drafting reforms for the banking sector. Due to his lackadaisical attitude, we have lost four years, else these fraudsters would have been behind bars,” added the spokesperson.

We have learnt through sources that after watching the press conference, Raghuram Rajan’s colleagues from the RBI called him with a suggestion: Next time, instead of preparing a report, make a show about it. In the era of Netflix, no one has the time to read mails.

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