News Weed: Revealed! Why Mumbai’s Roads Are Constantly Dug Up

Satire

News Weed: Revealed! Why Mumbai’s Roads Are Constantly Dug Up

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

M

umbai, March 12: In breaking news from the country’s favourite city, the Maharashtra government and the BMC have finally revealed the reason why Mumbai’s roads are perpetually dug up. For generations, Mumbaikars have wondered why their already poor infrastructure needs to be flung into the air on a weekly basis, only to revert to the exact same shoddy state as before. As has been exposed in the past, the constant road work artificially inflates labour and GDP statistics, with roughly 15 per cent of the city’s population being employed solely to carry a wheelbarrow of dirt a little further down the road, before returning it to the same spot three hours later.

Others have speculated that Mumbai’s historic rivalry with Delhi is to blame, with each metropolis bent on being the first to develop a mass asthma attack. In the same competitive spirit, both cities have been vying for the title of “Most Annoying Place to Drive” – Mumbai answering Delhi’s odd-even laws with a two-pronged strategy of digging more potholes and reducing all roads to a single lane blocked by a broken-down rickshaw.

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