What to Look Forward to in 2018

Satire

What to Look Forward to in 2018

Illustration: Palak Bansal

T
he year 2017 was the year of Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un’s catfight on the global stage. One hurling inflammatory tweets, the other testing one ballistic missile after another. It was the year when India finally got the better of China on some index as pollution levels in Delhi went so out of control that a cricket game had to be halted. It was the year when sexual predators in Hollywood were being exposed faster than potholes on Mumbai roads. It was the year our beloved government implemented GST like a clumsy 12-year-old. And of course, it was the year when Apple announced that you could send animated poop to your friends. Basically, a lot of things happened in 2017 and if indicators are anything to go by, 2018 is not going to disappoint.

The following year is the pre-election year and the circus will be in town. If you followed the political debate around the Gujarat elections and wondered whether it could go any lower, you are soon going to find out that it probably can. Every party will make tall promises, more acronyms will be unleashed, mega-projects will be announced and catchy slogans will be flashed across newspapers, TV, and mobile screens on a scale that could eclipse a Bollywood film promotion. After all, politics in India is not too different from a masala Bollywood drama: There is one big actor, loads of entertainment, and people end up paying way too much for mediocre content.

The next year is also going to be a big year for Indian sport, as Virat Kohli’s men make overseas tours to South Africa and England. Trolls are waiting for Virat to fail, as they already have tweets saved in their drafts folder about how the big fat #Virushka wedding has affected Virat’s performance on the field. The Commonwealth Games are in Australia this year, and a good performance will set the stage perfectly for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. In India, other sports might receive step-motherly treatment compared to cricket but a cracking year is expected from our shuttlers, boxers, shooters, and wrestlers, all of whom showed great signs in 2017. It’s also the year of the Football World Cup in Russia, a sport we are yet to ace at the highest levels but one that has a huge following in India. Perhaps we can ask the Russians to hack us into this event, considering how good they are at it and their past experience with the US elections.

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