Criticised for “Cloud Theory”, BJP Launches #MainBhiRadarExpert Campaign

Satire

Criticised for “Cloud Theory”, BJP Launches #MainBhiRadarExpert Campaign

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

It’s raining criticisms and memes for Prime Minister Narendra Modi since he said in a TV interview on Saturday that he gave the go-head for the Balakot airstrike despite bad weather because “the clouds could actually help our planes escape the radars”. To stop the flood of flak over the “cloud theory” that Twitter-literate liberandus fail to grasp, the BJP IT Cell has stepped in. Highly unreliable sources tell us that the party has launched the #MainBhiRadarExpert campaign.  

“When the opposition called the PM a chaiwala, we said theek hai, hum chaiwale hai,” said the campaign chief Airo Planewallah. “We owned it proudly. We started #ChaiPeCharcha and forced even coffee people to drink tea. When they said ‘chowkidar chor hai’, we turned the whole country into chowkidars. Now they are mocking his understanding of radar technology. This time we will ensure that the entire population turns into defence experts.”

According to party insiders, the BJP has launched the #MainBhiRadarExpert campaign for ordinary people who don’t have any expertise, degree or qualification on radar technology but have strong opinions on it anyway. “It is a free country, why should the lack of scientific knowledge stop anyone from having a credible opinion on science,” Planewallah added.

“In the beginning nobody believed that the earth was round either. It was only years later that the ‘earth theory’ was proved. The same will happen with the ‘cloud theory,’ said a scientist who is currently finding the cure for cancer using gomutra.

According to party insiders, the BJP has launched the #MainBhiRadarExpert campaign for ordinary people who don’t have any expertise, degree or qualification on radar technology but have strong opinions on it anyway.

Meanwhile our sources tell us that Prasoon Joshi has been really upset since the interview aired. “People who have no idea of radar tech are now asking who was the scriptwriter for the interview? How will I get a job anywhere after this? People are even blocking my LinkedIn requests,” the writer said. “BJP will get out of this mess because Rahul Gandhi will also say something stupid in the next two days, but what about my career?” he asked.

Political analysts say that the #MainBhiRadarExpert campaign is likely to go viral. Journalists have been trying to set up interviews with radar experts, but have not been able to find even one in the country.  

Opposition leaders who have learnt about the campaign have wasted no time in criticising it. The Congress statement said, “The Gandhi family brought radar technology to India and it is unfortunate to see the BJP defaming it in this manner.” Arvind Kejriwal has promised free radars for each household if voted to power.

A video song “Main Bhi Radar Expert Hoon” is already in the works featuring General GD Bakshi and Kirti Kulhari, who played a pilot in Uri. “We have already approached Snapchat for a cloud filter to go with the hashtag and we are in touch with TikTok influencers,” said the BJP’s social media head.

Comments