How to Be a Bandra Babe

Satire

How to Be a Bandra Babe

Illustration: Sushant Ahire

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adies, we need to talk. I’ve seen you, showing up at Monkey Bar or BSE, furtively sneaking glances at us Bandra babes. I’ve seen the pain in your eyes and the desperation in your tragic outfits. All you non-Bandra babes (and worse, Bandra non-babes) are really harshing the vibe and it needs to stop. How am I supposed to enjoy my overpriced cocktail at Esco when some chick from Versova is sitting in the corner wearing yoga pants that aren’t Lululemon? It’s time to Swachh Bandra.

So in the interest of general public, I’m going to teach you how to blend in with us Bandra babes. You’ll never really be one, but at least you can sit with us. Here is my four-point address:

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