After 10 Per Cent Reservation for Upper Caste, Fardeen Khan Demands Quota for the Creatively Backward

Satire

After 10 Per Cent Reservation for Upper Caste, Fardeen Khan Demands Quota for the Creatively Backward

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

A

fter the Parliament approved 10 per cent reservation in jobs and education for the economically weaker sections of the general category, there is another section of the population that is now demanding a quota – the creatively weaker class. Spearheading the cause is self-described actor Fardeen Khan, who will be carrying out a morcha for out-of-work thespians starting from Lokhandwala Back Road Joggers’ Park to a Lokhandwala Back Road coffee shop, a good 10 minutes way.

Khan and his supporters are demanding 10 per cent quota in supporting roles, such as Hero Ka Sidekick, Best Friend Who Can’t Act, the Hero’s Neighbour, and the Guy Who is Standing in a Circle as the Hero Raps. There is also a demand to restrict the number of outsiders in Bollywood. “Newcomers like Vicky Kaushal and Ayushmann Khurrana are taking over. At last year’s actors roundtable, there was not even one Khan. How can we let this happen,” demanded an angry Fardeen Khan.

Khan said that though he has been educated in the dramatic arts, he received his last gig over a decade ago, as a magician at Chunky Panday’s daughter Ananya’s eighth birthday party. In a press conference outside his Juhu residence, Khan recounted the experience in detail, including the humiliating moment that the children in attendance had to teach him how to do card tricks.

“Just because I have not worked in the industry for some years, casting directors write me off,” said an emotional Khan. “As if audiences have forgotten that I co-starred with Akshay Kumar in hit movies like Heyy Babyy! Don’t I deserve more opportunities?”

Khan is currently a one-man army, but sources tell us he is likely to be joined by Harman Baweja, Jackky Bhagnani, and Neil Nitin Mukesh. Sources tell us that Fardeen Khan has been trying to get in touch with Uday Chopra but he denied any support saying he has a full-fledged career on Twitter.   

Khan said that though he has been educated in the dramatic arts, he received his last gig over a decade ago, as a magician at Chunky Panday’s daughter Ananya’s eighth birthday party.

Other once-upon-a-time actors and actresses said they would join the protest, but showed up only after it was over. “I was stuck in traffic,” said a has-been actor, who we could not recognise, despite still having visible traces of the previous night’s cocaine in his hair.

The Middle-Aged Glamour Association, or MAGA, showed up fashionably late by four hours, in a dazzling party bus. Chairwoman Kashmira Shah then spent half an hour posing for the cameras before she realised they were not the paparazzi, and the protest march was cancelled because Khan failed to gather any supporters.

Comments