No, I’m Not Made in China


No, I’m Not Made in China

Illustration: Saachi/Arré


f you’ve never managed to successfully offend your northeastern friend at a suburban after-party, this comprehensive guide will help you tick it off your to-do list. As a northeasterner (nordeasterner) I have complete authority (self-proclaimed) over everything northeastern. I have covered everything you need to know before you hang out with David from Shillong, who, by the way, is not an outstanding guitarist and did not play as a winger for your college football team.

For starters, you have to know that the most reviled and over-used derogatory term for a person from the northeast has to be “chinky”. It prompted the Government of India to announce that anyone found using the term on a person from the northeast could end up in jail for five years. That is three years more than what you could get if you tried to assault or use criminal force on a woman with the intent of outraging her modesty.