A Very Mumbai Christmas: Drunk Santa, No Snowfall, and a Fake Tree

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A Very Mumbai Christmas: Drunk Santa, No Snowfall, and a Fake Tree

Illustration: Arati Gujar

A

t last, it’s December. The end of the year. The season to be jolly. A time to bond over homemade delicacies with your family and friends – to munch on gingerbread and dance on table tops drunk on wine, feeling the chill of winter as Mariah Carey sings “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. It sounds dreamy and perfect until you realise that perfection is an illusion set by Hollywood that mere Mumbai mortals like us aren’t meant to achieve.

You see, Christmas as a Mumbaikar is a unique experience, considering the logistics of the city always interfere with any and every celebration. For starters, we compensate for the absence of snow with tons of cotton (selflessly contributing to the growth of the Indian economy) spread unevenly on our (mostly plastic) Christmas trees. As you place the thermocol star on top of your tree, you WhatsApp your friend, “This Christmas, no feels.” And then a sense of déjà vu creeps in. This is the same text you’ve been sending your BFF for as long as you can remember.

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