I Want a Baby Boy. There I Said It


I Want a Baby Boy. There I Said It

Illustration: Akshita Monga


t’s Sunday morning and I’m standing in front of my bathroom mirror, talking to myself, like some of us still do. I’m having a conversation with myself about what would my answer be, if I suddenly became famous, and someone asked me about my biggest regret in life. Even as I think about fame, I know that ship has sailed; my reflection confirms it. I am, after all, a 37-year-old woman with two children. But still I can play pretend. No one can hear my thoughts, so I humour myself.   

So what is my biggest regret? Not surprisingly, I hear myself say softly that my biggest regret is not having a son. Tears roll down my cheek. It is not something I can say out loud. My friend has just posted a picture on Facebook, announcing the birth of her son. A lovely picture, a poignant moment for them, but still I am the one crying.