ndia’s first couple and owners of the most bastardised hashtag in the history of Indian popular culture, Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma, held their wedding reception in Mumbai yesterday. This was approximately the 21315th time they’ve trended in a week, this time because the wedding was a “star-studded” affair, with anyone who has ever been famous being invited for photo-ops.

Let’s take a look at how the evening went for all the invitees.

Ranbir Kapoor

The scion of the Kapoor Khandaan looked more confused at the reception than when asked to pronounce the word “nepotism” during a video-podcast. (It’s Nep-oh-tiz-um, Ranbir, not Nepawww-tizum.)

To sing Channa Mereya or not ? #RanbirKapoor #VirushkaReception pic.twitter.com/NjHAXbMM8H

— RanbirKapoor.Net (@RanbirKapoorFC) December 26, 2017

As this completely real sequence of tweets shows, Ranbir was practising singing “Channa Mereya” in a corner, when Anushka asked him to come over, and make a heart sign with Virat. This was your daily reminder that celebs can be equally uncool as the rest of us.

Shah Rukh Khan

If there is one thing we know deep in our hearts, even though we are scared to admit it, it is that Shah Rukh Khan is a cool guy. At the grand Virushka affair, while Sachin was learning how to pose for a picture without a helmet , SRK brought his A-Game. Nay, he was The Game. Shah Rukh sang his Jab Tak Hain Jaan poem to Anushka, did some bhangra with Dailhi boy Virat, and ended his night by making people dance to “Chaiya Chaiya”. Banger.

Not Abhishek Bachchan

I don’t hate Abhishek Bachchan, but it takes a certain amount of talent to light fire to a career where everyone in Bollywood keeps giving you movies because #papa. Abhishek is so gifted in fact at blending into the walls, and elevating others to greatness, that the the dude standing behind him and Ash at the reception became an instant internet legend.

This guy is me at every wedding ever pic.twitter.com/szZoNcGYsQ

— Akshar (@AksharPathak) December 26, 2017

Long live Abhishek.

#PolioDrops #PSA

Katrina Kaif

The queen of everyone’s hearts, the slayer of tigers, the Chameli who is Chikni, Katrina Kaif was so hyped for Christmas that she wore her Christmas tree to the Virushka reception.

I’m not the fashion police but as a diehard citizen of Katrinastan, this was a colossal disappointment. Not to judge, but her smile too, is just a little bit narrower than her sister Isabelle’s, and hair a little too out of place for the fashion event of the year.

Cricket Bros

Harbhajan and Yuvraj Singh easily won the night. In a firmament of stars, they were easily the best dressed, slayed at bhangra, and looked drunk AF in this photo. It’s beautiful really. Look. At. Bhajji. And. Virat’s. Eyes. Here.

Moral of the story: Delhi or Mumbai, Punjabis always win at weddings.