What’s Worse than Student of the Year? SOTY 2

In his latest surgical strike on Bollywood, Karan Johar, the eternal guardian angel of star kids and the backer of achingly abominable franchises, has officially announced Student Of The Year 2. A sequel to his 2012 directorial outing Student Of The Year that launched Alia Bhatt, Varun Dhawan, and Sidharth Malhotra, SOTY 2 is set to be directed by Punit Malhotra, and produced by Dharma Productions.

Tiger Shroff, son of Bollywood’s Bhidu Jackie Shroff, will star in the sequel, reinforcing Johar’s belief in the famous Dharma saying, “Signing two star kids is better than one.” This comes a few days after the director made headlines for championing the noble cause of nepotism (yet again) when he signed Sridevi’s elder daughter Janhvi Kapoor and Shahid Kapoor’s half-brother Ishaan Khattar for Dhadak, the Hindi remake of Sairat.

There’s more. Unlike the previous film that had two male leads and one female lead, Student Of The Year 2 is instead going to feature two female leads alongside Tiger Shroff. Before you rack your brains contemplating on which struggling, talented newcomers could be cast in the film, let me have the honour of stopping you right there. Remember, when it comes to casting home productions, KJo is allergic to both “talent” and “strugglers”. Naturally, the names that are doing the rounds for the two female leads are Sara Ali Khan, daughter of Saif Ali Khan, Janhvi Kapoor, daughter of Sridevi, Ananya Pandey, daughter of Chunkey Pandey, and Disha Patani aka token non-star kid.

It’s funny how KJo needed Student Of The Year to launch star kids, pretending as if that’s not the whole point of the existence of Dharma Productions anyway

As Janhvi and Sara both have their debut projects lined up, and are going to be busy shooting for Dhadak and Kedarnath respectively, SOTY 2 may just end up being the debut vehicle for Ananya Pandey, and a film opportunity for Disha Patani, unless KJo manages to find another star kid in Bandra.

Releasing the first poster today, Karan Johar has guaranteed that SOTY 2 effortlessly enters the hall of fame of “films we neither deserve, nor want”. Think about it, did any of us watch Student of The Year and think to ourselves… This film needs a sequel? The very film that mistook a five-star hotel as a college campus, comprised songs that are full of redundancies in two different languages (Remember Ishq Wala Love?), a wafer-thin plot that was a lesson in designer porn, and an insensitive gay portrayal (because Dostana wasn’t enough). Literally, the biggest dilemma Alia Bhatt’s Shanaya had in the film was having to buy a new salwar kameez because her wardrobe didn’t have appropriate “hospital wear”. That’s right.

In short, Student Of The Year could be basically summed up in one line: It’s all about loving (and flaunting) your wealth and love triangles. It’s funny how KJo needed a separate film to launch star kids, pretending as if that’s not the whole point of the existence of Dharma Productions anyway.

The only way Student Of The Year could be any more terrible is if Karan Johar decided to make its sequel. The sequel would naturally see a star kid with a reputation for box-office failures, and an ability to replicate a wooden statue (even better than Arjun Rampal). Its plot would revolve around dance competitions that can be won by a budget Hrithik Roshan. It’d basically be ABCD, but with more tears, family, wealth, and of course love triangles.

Oh wait, did I just describe Student Of The Year 2?