Hallelujah! Get Over Poo Already, Millennials

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Hallelujah! Get Over Poo Already, Millennials

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

I

n the last sixteen years, like any self-respecting millennial, I’ve rewatched Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham… aka Karan Johar’s designer family porn at least twice a month. I know exactly how high Nandini Raichand’s eyebrows furrow when she magically and accurately predicts the exact moment her elder son Rahul Raichand enters their Hogwarts-style mansion and how many gamlas Anjali breaks on her first visit there. My eyes dutifully well up when Krish sings “Jana Gana Mana” instead of “Do Re Mi”. I also have Poo’s morning routine down pat (face mask, hair, mascara, lipstick with some twerking in between).

Over the years, my utter investment in the Raichand family universe has guaranteed that I defend K3G’s blatant emotional manipulativeness to everyone. I find hidden meaning between its frames: The movie’s real message is actually “It’s all about loving your weight loss” and don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise. And like a true bhakt, I defend the indefensible, including Hrithik Roshan’s total of five expressions throughout the film’s three-hour runtime.

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