Beware! Here Come the Marathoners

Pop Culture

Beware! Here Come the Marathoners

Illustration: Namaah/ Arré


have a deal for all my friends and acquaintances: If I promise to be awestruck in perpetuity at all of your running, jumping, FitBit’ing, carb-loading and tendon talk from now to when marathon season ends, will you please promise to stop updating me on your fitness progress? Not to be mean-minded and discourage you from the nirvana of #eatcleantraindirty, but sometimes it’s hard for people like me. Think about it – I have to take a face that is engaged in the task of chowing down a gooey fudgy brownie and arrange it in a rictus suitable to receive what seems to be the kasrat-nama of my entire generation.

Hardly have I logged online to check on the important business of the day, than the day’s parade of physical prowess and puffery hits me square between the eyes. My potato chips and I are nodding wisely but can I confess, we are totally and utterly bewildered seeing sweaty, grinning pictures of everyone I know, inscribed with all sorts of information that seems totally fascinating but entirely unrelated. Things like, everyday a gazelle in Africa wakes up and so does the lion and they both have to run to avoid being eaten and to eat respectively, and so when the sun comes up it don’t matter whether you are the gazelle or the lion, you better start running.