Indian Matchmaking is “Beta, Shaadi Kab Kar Rahe Ho?” Taken to the Limit

Pop Culture

Indian Matchmaking is “Beta, Shaadi Kab Kar Rahe Ho?” Taken to the Limit

Illustration: Mitesh Parmar

While the lockdown has given people the opportunity to finally complete their Netflix collection A to Z, many have recently found themselves utterly struck at the cringe-fest that is the platform’s latest offering, Indian Matchmaking.

An eight-part series, Indian Matchmaking is the outcome of “beta, shaadi kab kar rahe ho?” we’ve experienced far too many times for our liking. And the entire process to help match the prospects is led by “Mumbai’s top matchmaker” Sima Taparia aka Sima mami. To give you a better understanding of who Sima mami is, imagine a matrimonial site meets an annoying padosi aunty. That’s it.

The reality series which seems to follow the love quest of multiple (upper-caste and rich) single Indians and Indian-Americans is everything we love to hate. Perhaps, rightfully so. But the addiction? It’s real. Bring on the cringe.

To others, this real-to-reel representation of the “Indian” matchmaking process is an embarrassing nightmare enough to last them for seven lifetimes.

The show is about anything but finding love. And that’s on the age-old desi formula of arranged marriage. Period.

It does get worse. Remember the matrimonial site-personified Sima mami we mentioned earlier? Kinda has no chill, and seems pretty hell-bent on addressing “tall” and “fair” as ideal life-partner qualities.

To be fair (no pun intended), colourism is quite ingrained in the Indian ecosystem to be considered both desirable and successful. Why did we expect a reality series like Indian Matchmaking to be any different from the society it stems from? Did we already forget how Fair & Lovely tried to salvage itself as Glow & Lovely?

Pro-tip: It makes for a neat drinking game! Shots incoming 3… 2… 1…

But not all hope is lost. Indian Matchmaking does pepper you with life lessons when it’s not being misogynist. “Don’t be in a hurry to get married,” Shoba aunty said once and we’ve been sold on this advice for a lifetime.

Besides, the series makes for great chai pe charcha.

Did anyone notice the lack of LGBT+ representation? Between, Pradhyuman flexing his walk-in closet and rejecting women outright just based on their photos, a truly missed opportunity, this one. You had one job, Sima mami!

Feeling called out yet?

Don’t worry, this user understands your need to binge!

Um… Indian Matchmaking Season 2, anyone? The shots are on the house for this one.