In Micheal Bay’s Songbird it’s 2024 and Covid-23 is Raging. It’s the Last Thing We Want to Watch

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In Micheal Bay’s Songbird it’s 2024 and Covid-23 is Raging. It’s the Last Thing We Want to Watch

Illustration: Reynold Mascarenhas

What do you do when your months of Covid-induced anxiety and depleting hope gets turned into a movie? While we’re still struggling to find our way around the “new normal”, Hollywood has taken reigns over our worst fears and turned them into Songbird, a pandemic thriller that no one asked for.

Produced by Michael Bay, the Songbird imagines a dystopian future where the new mutation of the coronavirus — promptly called Covid-23 — plagues humankind, keeping the world in lockdown for the fourth year in a row. Starring KJ Apa, Sofia Carson, Demi Moore, Alexandra Daddario, and Bradley Whitford, the film’s trailer dropped last night, and needless to say, not everyone is loving it.

The film follows Nico (KJ Apa), who is supposedly immune to the virus. Speaking about the virus, the mutated version is apparently much worse than the present-day Covid-19, it attacks your brain tissue! So good for Nico, we guess. The government is pretty hellbent on forcing all infected citizens into quarantine camps called Q-zones in an act of martial law, and Covid-immune Nico just wants to save his girlfriend from body snatchers aka Covid police. *plot thickens* To make matters worse, half the population has already been wiped off, and the future only seems further bleak.

Do we have any takers so far?

“Making a pandemic-thriller movie in the middle of a pandemic” is driving people up the wall.

“Looks like true exploitation cinema,” an unimpressed Sean Fennessey wrote on Twitter.

How to read the room 101.

Perhaps we’ll get through it as we got through the last months – with a side of existential crisis or two.

But here’s the most important question… WHERE ARE THE MASKS?! C’mon, guys! You gotta draw the line somewhere.