Finance Ministry to Announce Much-Anticipated Release Date for Next Economic Recession

Money Matters

Finance Ministry to Announce Much-Anticipated Release Date for Next Economic Recession

Illustration: Robin Chakraborty

V

ariety, they say, is the spice of life – but predictability is the staple diet we all feast on. Much of the world finds solace in some form of routine. There’s an Olympics every four years, a new iPhone release every six to eight months, and once a quarter Rahul Gandhi says or does something so monstrously silly that for a brief moment, the whole nation is united even without a 600-foot statue.

For this reason, recessions are prickly beasts. A recession is like the next season of Game of Thrones. We don’t quite know when it’s coming, but when it does come, there’s going to be a lot of blood and gore and some key players are going down. In fact, studies might show that we have lost roughly one investment bank for every Stark killed. I kid, of course. If anything, investment banks are more like Jon Snow, considering so many have been brought back to life by government bailouts.

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