A look back at the year that was for India’s economy. 2018 began with the PNB scandal that might have drawn an impressed slow clap from Vijay Mallya, and ended with the RBI governor resigning, replaced by a man with as much fiscal competence as a gambling addict.

The face of financial frauds in India in 2018 was Nirav Modi… with dishonourable mentions for Nitin Sandesara, Vikram Kothari, and the OG Bank Chor Vijay Mallya. Let’s hope our public sector banks will take up a New Year resolution: Avoid reckless lending.

The farm loan waiver is the political Brahmastra, the Draw Four card you play just before the other guy is about to shout “Uno!” because it’s a lot easier to keep farmers on the brink of financial ruin and then sprinkle waivers around to remind them which political party really cares.

When the BJP lost in 2004, we said, “It’s about time.” When they lost again in 2009, we were pleasantly distracted by the poor showing of the CPIM and the idea that a stronger coalition might mean better policy enactments. When Congress lost in 2014, we were back to “It’s about time.”

Recessions are like black swans. They’re rare, come out of nowhere, and people frown upon you when you say they look delicious. Is the next one staring us between the eyes? Because it’s been a while since the last one so maybe the next one should just hurry up and get here. And Urjit Patel’s resignation has not helped things.

Urjit Patel resigned from his post as RBI governor citing that old nugget: “personal reasons”. It doesn’t require a keen student of current affairs to realise that “personal reasons” is just code for “just generally fed up of all this nonsense”.

RBI Governor Urjit Patel has resigned citing personal reasons. The relationship between the Reserve Bank of India and the government has been less BFFs and more “show me the money”. It’s a bit like watching a father deal with a spoilt teenager who has blown away his pocket money and is now asking for an extension on his allowance.

GDP is to economists what e=mc2 is to physicists, or the “Single Ladies” dance is to Beyoncé fans. But how does one trust the figures? There is the issue of reported data, the methodology, and the unorganised economy. It’s like when my friend tells me he earns less than one lakh rupees a month and then comes to pick me up in a Bentley

Last December, when Bitcoin was at its peak, people ridiculed me for investing in shares and gold. Fast forward to November 2018. Suddenly my minus 23 per cent returns on the stock market don’t seem like the worst thing anymore. Bitcoin’s barely clinging to $4,000 – a nearly 80 per cent nosedive since last year.

I’m not sure if the lay person really bothers to understand exchange rates, but spare a thought for the boy whose life-long dream has been to stand on the snowy inclines of Switzerland and stretch his arms wide open, Shah Rukh-style. He now needs to be satisfied with a trip to Manali.