Love and Sex

Shaadi Nahi Karne Ki Side Effects: Woman Sues Boyfriend for “Wasting Her Time” and Not Proposing Marriage

Illustration: Robin Chakraborty

Commitment-phobic partners beware! Gertrude Ngoma, a 26-year-old woman from Zambia, has sued her boyfriend Herbert Salaliki for “wasting her time” by not proposing marriage after eight years of dating.

Dating is believed to be a precursor to marriage. Sometimes, people get married within months of dating each other. At other times, it can take years before one makes the plunge. However, a 26-year-old woman from Zambia has had enough. She has sued her boyfriend for wasting her time and not proposing marriage after eight years of dating.

Gertrude Ngoma had been dating Herbert Salaliki for over eight years. Like a Bollywood hero in a rom-com movie, the guy kept promising that he would marry her sometime in the future. Fed up with this uncertain timeline, she decided to take things to court.


According to a report by Kenyan news portal Tuko, she told a court in Zambia that she feels her partner is not serious about the relationship. “He has never been serious, that is why I bought him to court because I deserve to know the way forward and our future,” Gertrude was quoted as saying.

The couple has a child and the boyfriend reportedly even handled dowry payment. However, Salaliki defended himself saying that he is not in a financial position to afford a wedding, and to add insult to injury, accused Ngoma of not giving him sufficient attention in their relationship.

The case’s judge, Evelyn Nalwize, reportedly told Ngoma that the court could not do anything for her as there was no formal marriage, Zambian news site Mwebantu reported. One pities the judge who finds himself in the middle of all this!

One person’s tragedy is another person’s comedy, as social media users weighed in on their relationship. The internet was split, with some blaming the guy for being commitment-phobic, and others accusing the woman of forcing him into marriage. Then, there were also those who pitied the child and advised him to sue both the parents when he grows older.

“Who’s the idiot here?” asked one user on Twitter.

If “not being serious about a relationship” was a parameter based on which Indians could go to court, then our already burdened courts would only be discussing relationship issues between couples all day. However, we have our own whacky issues to deal with.

A few months back, a woman from Sambhal district of Uttar Pradesh sought a divorce from her husband on the grounds that “he loves her too much and doesn’t fight with her”. The Sharia court was baffled and the cleric rejected her plea calling it frivolous.

As the old adage goes, love is blind. And sometimes, even bereft of logic and common sense.