The Rise of the Planet of Nice Guys

Love and Sex

The Rise of the Planet of Nice Guys

Illustration: Sushant Ahire


should have seen it coming. I’ve been hit with that line many a time, sometimes with the force of a light slap that makes you refocus, often with the strength of a punch that knocks you out. I have bartered sleep, appetite, and sanity to the point that I looked at the mirror and saw somebody else’s perception of me reflected through the twisted fractals of my own reality. What do you tell someone you love when they tell you, “But I’m the nice guy.”

Of course, I know you’re the nice guy. I knew it when you spent three hours in the dead of the night to drop me to my doorstep. I saw it in the food you woke up early to cook for me, when you told me to snap out of a break-up, when you chose my company over a party you would have definitely been the life of. But when you state that you’re a nice guy on a contract that I don’t remember signing and ask me to date you in return, I don’t know what to tell you.