Modern Love and the Flawed Theory of Common Interests

Love and Sex

Modern Love and the Flawed Theory of Common Interests

Illustration: Sushant Ahire


’m a chaisexual,” Sagar said, nearly causing me to spill my drink. Drunk Delhi winters can get weird, but this was still out of the ordinary. “I don’t think I can date people who prefer coffee over tea, it just doesn’t work for me.” Now Sagar is a super smart dude with a super smart job — smart enough not to use his real name when being quoted in stories — so this level of specificity in potential romantic partners threw me off. He clarified that this was just an extension of the “common interests” phenomenon, a notch above “what are your hobbies?”, but my mind was already buzzing.

Sagar was not off the mark, if only in helping me understand how millennial love works, and how far it skews from love from the Binaca Geetmala generation. So many of us base our romances based on monocultural milestones, i.e. things we all consume together over Netflix and Amazon, making our connections extremely specific?