The Invisible Sex Life of New Parents

Love and Sex

The Invisible Sex Life of New Parents

Illustration: Akshita Monga


f there was ever a full sentence that could be classified as an oxymoron, then this is it – The Sex Life of New Parents. Why, you ask? Well just like Donald Trump’s brain, it is non-existent. If it does exist, it is rare, awkward, and revolves around the bowel movements of your child. As terrible as that sounds, it’s wholly true.

What could easily be a listicle titled “10 most awkward times my kid wanted to poop” is actually my real life. My son is all of three and freshly potty-trained. Yay, right? No. While I am celebrating the fact that he has checked a big milestone, the party was short-lived. He has made it his life’s mission to find the most unique scenarios to take a dump. I have heard the sentence “Mamma… I want to potty”…  in the following scenarios: