The Power of the First “I Love You”

Love and Sex

The Power of the First “I Love You”

Illustration: Akshita Monga


long, long time ago, Adam and Eve were chilling in The Garden of Eden right after Adam had downloaded Eve into real life from her hot Tinder selfie. Eve was talking excitedly about Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You”, but Adam – sporting a chiselled eight-pack – was on his phone, checking out new mayonnaise flavours on Instagram. He was playing it cool AF because as her maker, he was well aware of the fact that she had the hots for him. Eve, in a final bid for attention, decided to use the three little words which changed the world. Forever.

“I love you,” she said and waited with bated breath for a return ILU, but Adam didn’t have a fuck to give. Dude straightaway gave her a thumbs-up and winked at her. He waited days before eventually sending her a heart emoji. And then they lived happily ever after. After that, the world became a patriarchy, because Adam held the remote control in the relationship. Forever.