{"id":6574,"date":"2016-07-18T01:30:23","date_gmt":"2016-07-17T20:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=6574"},"modified":"2016-07-18T01:30:23","modified_gmt":"2016-07-17T20:00:23","slug":"what-losing-a-job-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic-and-sliding-economy-feels-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=6574","title":{"rendered":"What Losing a Job in the Middle of a Pandemic Feels Like"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

L<\/span>ife, in general, and careers<\/a>, more specifically, are all about upgrades. One is expected to climb up a giant, invisible, and proverbial ladder for more money and nicer words on a business card. We put in days and weeks and months and quarters with a sprinkling of occasional weekend hours to do this, until typically \u2013 if you\u2019re an average Indian worker \u2013 \u201coffice<\/a>\u201d is pretty much the only thing on your mind each day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a year at a nice, foreign business school, I found myself at a job in a tech startup in Mumbai. It was a steady life trajectory, to be in a young place and learn the ropes of management in a small team at a lean company. Like most full-time jobs tend to be, it occupied nearly all of my day. The length of the days and the chaos of work increased, and somewhere, my interest in being at the office decreased. Cut to a few days before our beloved Covid lockdown<\/a>, and I was at my last day at work \u2013 uncertain about my future, but certainly lighter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a short period of mourning my decision to join a startup, I found myself fitting the definition of the dreaded \u201cu\u201d word that has been plaguing so much of the country in previous months. Yes, big fat unemployment<\/a>, or as they say on LinkedIn, \u201cseeking opportunities\u201d. This was right before our wonderful shared experience of a virus telling humanity, \u201cghar pe baitho beta\u201d. Since then, not only have times changed, but even my experience and understanding of the concept of time has changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being without a job isn\u2019t easy on my psyche. I have always relied on the rhythm of a schedule, and the disruption of not having a full list of tasks was a shock I wasn\u2019t prepared for. As someone who is generally organised, there was precious little for me to do outside of an office, except finding the next place to use my time and effort. There was also a sense of mourning for a career plan rudely interrupted by a detour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s begin with finding a job during this time. It\u2019s, well, a bit like… how should I say this delicately? Like going to Rajasthan and asking for directions to Helsinki. Theoretically, it\u2019s possible. You can get one of those private jet things if you\u2019re, say, an Ambani type. But for all practical purposes, people are pointing and laughing at you. You too, are pointing and laughing at you. I mean, what says \u201cShut up, dude!\u201d to a worker bee louder than a tanked stock market, eerily quiet Mumbai streets, and the general air of helplessness, anxiety<\/a>, and fear? Oh, wait. There\u2019s one thing. Practical jokes, yes.

Job postings, at the moment, are practical jokes and as one-way as a street gets.<\/blockquote>
Job postings, at the moment, are practical jokes and as one-way as a street gets. Your CV, cover letter, and company research will end up floating in empty space. So, while I find myself applying to as many suitable jobs as I can find, there comes a point every three days or so where my head begins to explode with Harry Potter-scar levels of pain from proverbially banging it against a wall. There\u2019s very little respite from the frustration of typing into your laptop with sincerity, while breathing itself is chipping away at your emergency fund because, well, being alive has a way of costing money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Kubler-Ross model of grief, emotions experienced after a loss include anger, acceptance, bargaining, denial, and depression. They can take place in any order, and it\u2019s not necessary that all stages are experienced. On most days, I find my head doing a strange balancing act between anger and acceptance. There are days when I wake up optimistic, sign up on new job sites, develop \u201cnew skillz\u201d by watching videos and taking online classes, but how far can optimism take you in the face of a silent, non-responsive reality?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To occupy my time, I finished a web course on investment theory that my girlfriend<\/a> found, tirelessly researched and evaluated stocks to create a comprehensive stock portfolio, and cleaned my cupboard to the point of multiple spider extinctions. What am I going to do next, walk around believing in God or something? There are days when I find new rabbit holes, but I try to make them \u201cworthy\u201d by watching shows no one else is watching, slowly reading books that have always been on my list, and generally try to be a good job-seeking egg. Still, there is a sense of directionlessness to my time right now, a sense of wanting to belong to the great workers of the here and now, who are all, pandemic or not, pushing India forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For someone who typically runs like a well-wound clock, the abundance of time is unusual. It\u2019s like being in a limbo version of summer vacation<\/a>, except with exceptionally little fun to look forward to. And without something to look forward to, why would I wake up \u201con time\u201d? Why would I sleep \u201con time\u201d? What even is time?

What am I going to do next, walk around believing in God or something?<\/blockquote>
For a long time, life had begun to be measured in weekday mornings spent around colleagues and pressing buttons, Friday nights<\/a>, and weekends. Lacking employment can sometimes be a robbery of those experiences too. Tolkein said, \u201cAll we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us\u201d, and I had decided to let someone else set my agenda. And now, it seems like their number is out of sampark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s strange to think about a future right now. The \u201cnew normal\u201d is so new even without my undesired employment status that processing things, contextualising yourself and work possibilities around you is a heavy, unpredictable task. I sometimes wonder when I\u2019ll find myself at work again, but more often than not, I find myself wondering what work itself will be like in the days to come. Will it be in an office with glass walls and face-masks? Will it be over Zoom calls with manufactured backgrounds? Will I have the opportunity to be in a room, feeling like a part of something bigger again? Maybe. And for that, I will await the next\u00a0 ping from LinkedIn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What does losing a job in the middle of a raging pandemic feel like? A little less worse than trying to find a job. It\u2019s like going to Jaipur and asking for directions to Helsinki \u2013 theoretically it is possible, but practically? Almost impossible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":411,"featured_media":6575,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[10510,10435,4727,5971],"class_list":["post-6574","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-coronavirus-pandemic","tag-lockdown","tag-office","tag-unemployment"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Losing a Job in the Middle of a Pandemic Feels Like<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What does losing a job in the middle of a raging pandemic feel like? A little less worse than trying to find a job. 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