{"id":4030,"date":"2016-04-15T02:18:56","date_gmt":"2016-04-14T20:48:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=4030"},"modified":"2016-04-15T02:18:56","modified_gmt":"2016-04-14T20:48:56","slug":"fair-skinned-man-india-tourist-firang","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=4030","title":{"rendered":"O Gore Gore: What It Means to be a Fair-Skinned Man in India"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I\u2019<\/span><\/p><\/div>

m at the Golconda Fort in Hyderabad, regrettably on a hot summer\u2019s day. I carry a camera because I like to think of myself as a serious photographer. While looking for a quiet corner from which to capture the historic architecture, I am approached by a man with a camera in his hand as well, his two friends behind him. He wants a photograph. \u201cYes, sure,\u201d I tell him and reach for his camera. He, though, hands it to his friends and puts his arm around my shoulder. A second later we have a portrait together. \u201cWhich <\/span>country<\/span><\/a>?\u201d he asks. I first think of saying Israel, because I don\u2019t want to disappoint him, but stick to the truth instead. <\/span>\n\n\u201cIndia,\u201d I say. <\/span>\n\n\u201cShit.\u201d He turns around in disgust, looks into the screen of his camera, deletes the photograph, and walks away without saying a word. Being fair in India has its <\/span>privileges<\/span><\/a>, but it also comes with the peculiarity of experiencing its people outside of their social element.<\/span>\n\nI\u2019ve lived in Himachal for the majority of my life, where whiteness of the skin isn\u2019t as fascinating as it is common. Even then, the sincerest I have heard my relatives appraise me is when they empirically classify its tone. \u201cBohat gora hai\u201d stands for affection, \u201c<\/span>Hayyee <\/span><\/i>kitna gora hai\u201d possibly translates to denial, whereas when prefixed by \u201cawwwww\u201d the statement stands for envy, perhaps even anger. <\/span>Cousins<\/span><\/a> looked at me like I was an extraterrestrial, while everyone else wanted to get touchy-feely, or thereabouts. Unfortunately, whatever misconceptions I had about the sombreness of a young adult life balancing out the attention my Simi Garewal\u2019s saree-toned skin attracted proved to be wrong. <\/span>\n\n

It becomes especially difficult when the personality you have at your disposal is not as loud as the first impression of your shade.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nI knew in my teens that the first card I would ever play in a social scenario was the one I couldn\u2019t really hide. Why is it a card? Well, I\u2019m treated better by waiters in restaurants, addressed politely by stewards and guards, by conductors in buses. I was once offered the kitchen\u2019s freedom in a Rajdhani between Delhi and <\/span>Mumbai<\/span><\/a> without asking. A policeman in Chennai was extra courteous when I asked him for direction. A mall in Bhubaneswar re-opened their registers to accommodate me, after they denied the same opportunity to other people. I bring out the best in people, however deceitful.<\/span>\n\nAs incredibly pompous as that may sound, the colour of my skin has on more than one occasion acted as an expedient for a higher generality \u2013 the race of white men. Half of the time, I know, it is the fact that most people assume I am a firang which ticks me for cultural ascendancy of sorts. It doesn\u2019t help that \u201c<\/span>firang<\/span><\/a>\u201d is also a nickname my friends call me. So I play along. Then there have been the women, a significant bulk of whom I risk upsetting when I say that fair skin has worked better than the best jokes, ideas, or even behaviour. It becomes especially difficult when the personality you have at your disposal is not as loud as the first impression of your shade. Needless to say, after a point I gave up trying to be heard. <\/span>\n\nThere are tiny irritants as well. Aunties eye you for <\/span>marriages<\/span><\/a> from the moment they hear other aunties say, \u201cArr\u00e9, yeh toh dulhan se bhi gora lag raha hai!\u201d These women have a mutation that enables them to visualise future children better than sonograms and deem them all winners as long as they are fair. At the same marriage, by the way, someone mistakes me for the token white guy and asks for selfies, like my friend from Golconda Fort. <\/span>Autowallahs<\/span><\/a> take me for dumb and every man south of gentle takes me for weak. I struggle to hide in rooms I\u2019d rather not enter, because people ask questions like \u201cKaunse doodh se nahate ho?\u201d Oh and as a child, I was repeatedly cast as the only girl in a play at a boy\u2019s school.<\/span>\n\nEven so, living as a fair-skinned man in India is a bit of a head-start. I\u2019m not superior, but I\u2019ve been made to feel that way all my life to the point that I have made peace with it. So when two men wanted to take a photograph with me in Pondicherry, I obliged. In Puri, I even pulled in my dumbfounded <\/span>parents<\/span><\/a> for it. In Delhi, I declared I was Russian, and they loved it. <\/span>\n\nIt is complicated to disown one\u2019s gorapan and too convenient \u2013 according to everyone else \u2013 to deny its benefits. \u201cTumko isliye farak nahi padta kyunki tum ho,\u201d I\u2019ve been told. Maybe it is true. But this category of vanilla has been fleshed out by those who have looked at me like I was a mirror. That said, it does get dark on this side as well, like being called \u201cWhite <\/span>bhaiyya<\/span><\/a>\u201d at a football game. Now that is dark. And we don\u2019t like that, do we.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Living as a fair-skinned man in India is bit of a head-start, but can lead to some pretty awkward moments. As a child, I was repeatedly cast as the only girl in a play at a boy\u2019s school, and in Hyderabad, a man who wanted to take a picture with me, asked me, \u201cWhich country?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":137,"featured_media":4031,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[7366,7367,7368,5992,3982,21,4874],"class_list":["post-4030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pov","tag-aunties","tag-complexion","tag-fair-skin","tag-firang","tag-indians","tag-marriage","tag-tourist"],"yoast_head":"\nO Gore Gore: What It Means to be a Fair-Skinned Man in India<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Living as a fair-skinned man in India is bit of a head-start, but can lead to some pretty awkward moments. 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