{"id":3513,"date":"2016-03-17T14:37:23","date_gmt":"2016-03-17T09:07:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3513"},"modified":"2026-07-17T20:34:28","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T15:04:28","slug":"namaste-england-review-pathetic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=3513","title":{"rendered":"Namaste England Review: 2007 Called, Even They Don\u2019t Want this Film Back"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I<\/span><\/p>n a recent clip doing the rounds, an Uttar Pradesh cop mimics the sounds of gunshots in a ridiculous \u2013 but badass \u2013 attempt to intimidate fleeing criminals. In many ways, watching his hapless efforts to project that he\u2019s in control, is like watching Vipul Shah\u2019s Namaste England. Comical, in a profoundly sad way.<\/span>\n\nMuch before the brain fart named Namaste England<\/em> released, \u201cWhy does Arjun Kapoor still have a career?\u201d has been the top question baffling film aficionados. Luckily for Arjun, \u201cWhy did someone decide to spend \u20b960 crore on Namaste England<\/em>?\u201d is soon to steal that honour. In fact, Namaste England\u2019s<\/em> plot is so unbelievably stupid that it parodies itself. After copious amounts of running around in fields (in fucking 2018) and supporting national integration by celebrating almost every Indian festival, the film\u2019s leads, Jasmeet (Parineeti Chopra) and Param (Arjun Kapoor) fall in love. The lovebirds plan to marry but there\u2019s a catch \u2013 Jasmeet\u2019s grandfather makes Param\u2019s family swear that she won\u2019t work after marriage. Because the only amount of progressiveness the film can display is, beti padhao, beti ko trophy wife banao.<\/span>\n\n\"Namastey_London\"\n\nAfter copious amounts of running around in fields (in fucking 2018) and supporting national integration by celebrating almost every Indian festival, the film\u2019s leads, Jasmeet (Parineeti Chopra) and Param (Arjun Kapoor) fall in love.\nImage Credit – Pen India Limited\n\nSo Jasmeet \u2013 who dreams of being a jewellery designer \u2013 decides that the only way out is if Param and she move to London and add another drop in the ocean of Punjabis there. All good, right? Not really. Things get even more complicated when Param\u2019s former BFF-turned-bitter enemy swears to ensure that the couple never get a UK visa. Which is an act of social service because \u2013 unpopular opinion alert \u2013 who wants more Punjabis anywhere?<\/span>\n\nThen comes the plot-twist of the century, even worse than Vivek Oberoi\u2019s career after Saathiya<\/em>: We find out that Jasmeet is actually a UK-sexual. She abandons her husband to leave for London with a random man who can provide her citizenship. Over the years, Bollywood has fed us countless logic-defying reasons for break-ups, but leaving your husband because he isn\u2019t a visa agent, must be a new low.<\/span>\n

Once Jasmeet is in London, her passion for her career declines faster than the IQ of anyone watching this film.<\/blockquote>\nBecause Param has no self-respect (or facial expressions), the rest of this banal melodrama follows with him trying to win Jasmeet back. If there\u2019s ever an Indian variant of the overly attached girlfriend meme, Param\u2019s delusions can make him a worthy candidate. He also insinuates that Jasmeet is \u201chaving an affair with a city\u201d, which makes sense considering The Big Ben feels more human than Arjun Kapoor. At this point, Namaste England isn\u2019t just a film with the saddest performances, but it is also the saddest love story known to mankind.\n\nWith conversation rife around better female representation in Hindi cinema, a one-dimensional character like Jasmeet only takes us backwards. Not only is Parineeti Chopra\u2019s unremarkable manic-pixie-dream-girl act annoying, but it\u2019s also hopelessly irredeemable. Nobody has said \u201cFuck it, I\u2019m off to London\u201d in such a rush since Vijay Mallya.\n\nThat\u2019s not all: Once Jasmeet is in London, her passion for her career declines faster than the IQ of anyone watching this film. On the other hand, loverboy Param\u2019s attempts to smuggle himself to London are even more cringeworthy: He is thrust into a shipping container to Brussels, barely escapes border patrol, and is stuffed into the back of a truck with the corpse of a fellow refugee. Which again, has more screen presence than Kapoor. What a time to be alive.\n\n\"Namastey_London2\"\n\nIn a desperate attempt to milk every last drop of nostalgia, Arjun Kapoor also gives a chest-thumping speech about India in a room full of white people in the film.\nImage Credit – Pen India Limited\n\nIn a desperate attempt to milk every last drop of nostalgia, Arjun Kapoor also gives a chest-thumping speech about India in a room full of white people in the film. While Akshay Kumar\u2019s speech in Namastey London felt poignant, Kapoor\u2019s version is delusional deshbhakt drivel. He rambles about how India has made a trip to Mars possible at the cost of a rickshaw ride. It\u2019s safe to say that neither Arjun Kapoor nor Vipul Shah have actually taken a rickshaw \u2013 or know anything about space missions. Also in his speech is a prediction that the Brits and Yankees will be itching to emigrate to India in the next 50 years. It\u2019s also safe to say that the writers of Namaste England live in Narnia, not India.\n\nIf you thought Namaste England had only 99 problems, you are underestimating the power of Vipul Shah\u2019s tone-deafness. Throughout the film, characters casually spew lines such as \u201cWoh uss type ki ladki hai\u201d and \u201cMujhe tumhara second-hand pyaar nahi chahiye.\u201d At one point, Jasmeet doesn\u2019t hesitate to put down a woman trying to hit on Param. To indicate that she tends to sleep around, Jasmeet says, \u201cIsse baithne kaho, toh let jaati hai.\u201d Yes, this is indeed their idea of humour. At a time when Bollywood is showing increasing intolerance toward sexism, directors like Vipul Shah are still milking slut-shaming for comedy. That\u2019s sadder than this film can ever hope to be.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In Namaste England, Parineeti Chopra plays a UK-sexual. She abandons her husband, an expressionless Arjun Kapoor, to leave for London with a random man who can provide her citizenship. Nobody has said \u201cFuck it, I\u2019m off to London\u201d in such a rush since Vijay Mallya.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":166,"featured_media":3517,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3114],"tags":[6675,1155,141,6676,1782,393,6677],"class_list":["post-3513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bollywood","tag-aditya-seal","tag-arjun-kapoor","tag-bollywood","tag-namaste-london","tag-parineeti-chopra","tag-punjab","tag-vipul-shah"],"yoast_head":"\nNamaste England Review: 2007 Called, Even They Don\u2019t Want this Film Back<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In Namaste England, Parineeti Chopra plays a UK-sexual. 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Nobody has said \u201cFuck it, I\u2019m off to London\u201d in such a rush since Vijay Mallya.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=3513\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-03-17T09:07:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-07-17T15:04:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1539946852.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jackie Thakkar\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Namaste England Review: 2007 Called, Even They Don\u2019t Want this Film Back\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"In Namaste England, Parineeti Chopra plays a UK-sexual. 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