{"id":3309,"date":"2016-07-15T00:32:25","date_gmt":"2016-07-14T19:02:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=3309"},"modified":"2026-07-17T20:29:22","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T14:59:22","slug":"ganesh-chaturthi-atheism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.arre.co.in\/?p=3309","title":{"rendered":"Why My Atheism Takes a Backseat Every Ganesh Chaturthi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

L<\/span><\/p>ast year, for the first time in 25 years, I missed <\/span>Ganesh Chaturthi<\/span><\/a> in Pune. Usually, I make it a point to spend the first couple of days in my home city before getting back to work in Mumbai, because those two days mean a lot to me. It\u2019s not because I\u2019m religious \u2013 in fact, I am as annoyingly atheist as they come, since my father\u2019s death a few years back. <\/span>\n\nBut Ganesh Chaturthi is one of the last family traditions that I try to follow. Last year, that was broken as well.<\/span>\n\nPune<\/span><\/a> transforms during Ganesh Chaturthi. The sarcastic scowls you see on everyone\u2019s face for pretty much the rest of the year, are replaced by smiles \u2013 although temporary, it\u2019s genuine. There\u2019s an incredible warmth in the air, which I\u2019d like to believe is simply because of how well-fed everyone is. Buying sweets becomes a gladiator-like sport: There\u2019s banter moving in very fierce currents between customers and shopkeepers. Children line up with huge aluminum boxes, with precise instructions about how many modaks they\u2019re supposed to come back with. There\u2019s the ever-present fear that your family might just have to offer a meal to the Lord without a decent steamed modak, which I admit is very frightening. All this, combined with Pune\u2019s perfect almost-autumn weather, makes this stretch of 10 days the most awaited time of the year, the countdown for which begins at the start of the year. <\/span>\n\nI was brought up in a <\/span>religious<\/span><\/a> household. Father was never \u201cgod-fearing\u201d; he just doted on the idols he worshipped. He made a strong distinction between his faith and the influence of religion over his day-to-day morality. Which meant that there was no imposition for me to prove my faith \u2013 whatever I chanted in Sanskrit while praying, he\u2019d always explain its meaning. I worshipped the gods because I enjoyed it. It brought me peace. <\/span>\n\nAs a child, I had once placed pieces of egg near the Ganesh idol in our prayer room, thinking it would make for a nice prasad. <\/span>Mother<\/span><\/a> freaked out and I half expected father to lose it. Instead, he was really pleased. He said it was one of the most sincere forms of a prayer he had seen. From that day on, we offered whatever we cooked in the house \u2013 even meat \u2013 to the gods as prasad. <\/span>\n\nThere\u2019s an air of such sincerity and purity in every household in Pune. Every year, my mother would vow to keep things simple during the Ganesh festivities and every year, she\u2019d outdo herself by adding at least two more items to the previous year\u2019s spread: It\u2019d all start with a simple puri bhaaji, and escalate to masale bhat, aalu vadi, and kheer. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\n\nOn <\/span>Chaturthi morning<\/span><\/a> I\u2019d wake up to the smell of sandalwood. My father would be hard at work, complaining. \u201cNo one keeps things where they\u2019re supposed to be.\u201d \u201cSo, you\u2019ve finally woken up, when are you going to grow up and help around a bit.\u201d I\u2019d rush out to buy durva (blades of grass offered to Bappa), pick the prettiest lotus from the flower vendor, and buy a box of sweets for guests in the evening. <\/span>\n

After father passed away, I stopped praying. There was a part of me that was incredibly angry that a man so devout had to go without any warning. It was around this time that I started developing a disdain for Hinduism. I began to despise its outdated sense of morality in a world that had moved on.<\/blockquote>\nI\u2019d return and prepare a mix of the five elixirs to be offered to the idol \u2013 milk, honey, curd, ghee, and jaggery. After prayers, we\u2019d settle for the seven courses mother had prepared, as her eyes searched for any signs of weakness from us. This, according to me, was the highlight of her day \u2013 watching us enjoy the <\/span>meal<\/span><\/a>. In the evening, the house would be teeming with guests and relatives. The evening aarti was like a little music party \u2013 we sang the aartis and played the taal (small cymbals). By night, with the kitchen cleared and the refrigerator groaning under the stress of mother\u2019s amazing leftovers, we\u2019d finally get to bed after a hectic day. <\/span>\n\nBut here\u2019s the thing, I would sleep in absolute peace.<\/span>\n\nAfter father passed away, <\/span>I stopped praying<\/span><\/a>. There was a part of me that was incredibly angry that a man so devout had to go without any warning. It was around this time that I started developing a disdain for <\/span>Hinduism<\/span><\/a>. I began to despise its outdated sense of morality in a world that had moved on.<\/span>\n\n\"\"\n
\n

There\u2019s an air of such sincerity and purity in every household in Pune.\nImage credit: Getty Images<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n\nSlowly and steadily, the prayer room developed cobwebs. The idols were cleaned not out of a sense of devotion, but like any other furniture in the house. Ganesh Chaturthi turned into a <\/span>nostalgic day<\/span><\/a> that brought back memories of my father. My mother and I would have a quiet meal together and spend the day like any other.<\/span>\n\nMany sombre Ganesh Chaturthis later, in my second year of <\/span>college<\/span><\/a>, I stepped into the streets with my camera, to shoot the festivities in Pune. It was overwhelming; it felt nice to be part of the celebrations once again \u2013 a sense of belonging that I haven\u2019t felt outside Pune. <\/span>\n\nEach Ganesh Chaturthi as the <\/span>festivities<\/span><\/a> begin, I\u2019m reminded of my strange relationship with the religion. Today, I identify as an <\/span>atheist<\/span><\/a> but I\u2019ve seen myself transition from someone who was religious, to someone who hated every aspect of it to someone who is more accomodating today. I feel like if you keep the morality and legislation out of religion, there\u2019s no harm seeking salvation with an idea of a creator. In hindsight, it\u2019s the absolute submission in front of a deity that I\u2019d despised, never the sense of belonging that one feels amid the festivities.<\/span>\n\nIt\u2019s been seven years since I\u2019ve prayed. But I must confess, in these years, I haven\u2019t slept as peacefully as I did after the <\/span>Ganpati celebrations<\/span><\/a> at home. In <\/span>Mumbai<\/span><\/a> now, as fever grips the city, I feel a sense of homesickness yet again. Last night, I decided to visit Dadar, a predominant <\/span>Maharashtrian<\/span><\/a> area, for a meal and though it is very different from home, there is the same slowness as Pune \u2013 there\u2019s a sense of familiarity to it. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nOn my way back home, I saw a boy carrying a Ganpati idol, his father by his side, reminding him to watch his step. He had a familiar glint in his eyes. For a split second, as the two walked together, it felt a little like home. Father might have passed, taking my sense of religious devotion with him, but the warmth of the memory of what I once felt\u2026 that will live on. <\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was brought up in a religious household, where Ganesh Chaturthi was the celebration we waited for all year. After my father passed away, I stopped praying and developed a disdain for religion. But I make an exception during the Ganesh festivities, where I suspend my atheism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":285,"featured_media":3313,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[6437,6438,6439,1694,2451,80,100,520],"class_list":["post-3309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-first-person","tag-atheism","tag-ganesh","tag-ganesh-chaturthi","tag-hinduism","tag-indian-festivals","tag-mumbai","tag-pune","tag-religion"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy My Atheism Takes a Backseat Every Ganesh Chaturthi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I was brought up in a religious household, where Ganesh Chaturthi was the celebration we waited for all year. After my father passed away, I stopped praying and developed a disdain for religion. 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