Who Called It the Indian Science Congress and Not a Gathering of WhatsApp Uncles?

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Who Called It the Indian Science Congress and Not a Gathering of WhatsApp Uncles?

Illustration: Akshita Monga

W

hile Elon Musk-types are busy sending cars into space, their Indian counterparts over the last year have been organising an event that would upstage both the Golden Globes and the Ambani wedding in one swift motion. Featuring theories from books that might not be real, a poorly phrased Albert Einstein diss-rap, and as much actual science as a Swami Nithyananda video, the 106th Indian Science Congress was held over the last week in Punjab, and lived up to the reputation of previous editions – by honouring some of the finest WhatsApp Uncles the country has to offer.

Held at the sprawling Lovely Professional University campus, the night began with the rolling out of the red carpet – a colour attendees will no doubt confirm was first discovered in Hastinapur when the world’s first human bled. The WhatsApp Uncles, who looked dashing in their Make-in-India outfits, posed for the paparazzi at the entrance. One was heard telling a reporter that Arjuna invented the first selfie when he looked at his reflection in the water to fire the arrow that won him Draupadi. If an episode of The Big Bang Theory was shot in India, it would be called the “Big Balls Theory” because that’s how much these scientists care about their “peers”.

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