“Beta, You’re Next Haan!” Why I’m Dreading Wedding Season


“Beta, You’re Next Haan!” Why I’m Dreading Wedding Season

Illustration: Akshita Monga/Arré


y Saturday evenings are sacrosanct. I’ve cracked the perfect work-life balance of ensuring there are zero interruptions to my weekend ritual of Netflix and wallowing in self-pity. But this Saturday, I was compelled to answer the phone in the middle of a Narcos episode. It isn’t every day that your ninth-grade bestie’s name flashes on your screen. That, plus a deep sense of foreboding you feel right before someone is about to give you terrible news.

Like most former BFFs who have drifted apart, Jigar and my communication had been limited to sharing our Facebook Friendversary video with a “Time Flies” caption. Secretly, I was hopeful that he was calling to act upon a beer pong plan we’d made ages ago. But that feeling in the pit of your stomach never lies. After a few pleasantries and jabs at each other over women we masturbated to in ninth grade, he said, “Bro! I’m WhatsApping you my wedding invite. You gotta come!”