By Parthshri Arora Dec. 13, 2017
In 2017, love is quantified by how much the interests of two parties align on social media. And with the same word-for-word message posted on Twitter to announce their marriage, Virushka proved their perfect synchronicity.
ehold, dear Indians, for we are congregating today after our most eligible bachelor, Virat Kohli, and perhaps our most interesting female actor, Anuskha Sharma, got hitched. In a nation where we value Miss Malini interviews over privacy, a ban on condom ads over an exploding population, this moment is a pivotal one. We are bearing witness to the birth of another Indian power couple.
Indian power couples are gorgeous things. In addition to being epicentres of dynamism, giving boost to Indian advertising, they also give birth to ridiculously gorgeous babies who create their own little eco-system of airport looks, dedicated paparazzi, and think pieces on their chosen names. (Already hyped for the Virushka baby with Taimur-level hysteria!)
In this golden rush of powerful relationships that are being forged around us, it is as good a time as any to take stock of really who is the most powerful of them all. This is not as ridiculous as it sounds, for we are a country that has made a one-month-old a trending hashtag. So here goes:
1) Virat and Anushka aka #Virushka
In 2017, love is quantified by how much the interests of two parties align on social media. Tinder works on shared likes, Hinder works on shared dislikes, and with the same word-for-word message posted on social media to announce their marriage, Virushka proved their perfect synchronicity. The cynics would argue it was crafted by a PR person, but I still believe in love, guys.
In addition, with Ansuhka Sharma starting her own production house at 25, and Virat Kohli showing his middle finger to almost every other country, their IDGAF quotient is spiralling. They are fairly stylish, with Anushka’s new lips and Virat’s consistent beard, and their compatibility from what I learnt from this Pinkvilla piece titled “Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma’s Wedding: How their body language spoke of eternal love” seems perfect. Insert a massive awwww here.
2) Saif and Kareena aka #Saifeena
Saifeena, the once rebellious couple which set fire to Shahid Kapoor’s heart and became India’s first truly IDGAF couple, returned for a super successful second innings this year, mostly because of their baby, Taimur. He made headlines for everything from his upcoming birthday celebrations to simply wearing clothes.
Saifeena’s social-media game went up a notch, with Kareena’s Instagram squad becoming as ubiquitous to culture as Saif’s dumbassery about nepotism, but whether it’s eugenics or sheer bad lack, Saif’s Bollywood career is going back to his Kya Kehna days, and Saifeena is a fading brand.
Indian power couples give birth to ridiculously gorgeous babies who create their own little eco-system of airport looks, dedicated paparazzi, and think pieces on their chosen names.
3) Akshay and Twinkle aka #AskTwin
The fact that they make for a poor hashtag has already severely hit their ranking. This couple has had a weird year. Twinkle Khanna went from ending last year with a supernova appearance on Koffee With Karan to the woman defending her sexist husband faster than Akshay went from comedies to sanskari films like Toilet: Ek Prem Katha.
Their IDGAF quotient is pretty bad, seeing how much Twinkle cares about critics on Twitter. This was evident during the Mallika Dua fiasco. Their style quotient is nothing to write home about, but as long as Akki doles out 200-crore hits, their power ranking will remain unaffected. Their compatibility is another twinkle in firmament, with Twinkle defending her man adorably (even if wrongly). You call it PR; I call it pyaar.
4) Shah Rukh and Gauri aka Sauri
Once the apple of our eyes, this couple represents a sauri (sorry!) tale of young romance gone stale. The D’decor ad from last year shows that there is a power struggle in the relationship. Shah Rukh gives in, but if you squint hard enough, we see his broken soul through his eyes. Gauri is probably too pissed with the consistent affair rumours about SRK, bringing their IDGAF and compatibility ratings down. Their social-media game is pretty weird, as Gauri Khan doesn’t use Twitter, and Shah Rukh posts drunk quotes with weird grammar. On their Instagram, they leverage their kids’ cuteness for likes, which I, being an adorable kid myself, don’t personally appreciate. But even if they fail in relevance, or slip in age, where they score high is power. For when all is said and done, he is the king and she his (legal) queen.
Lover of baby animals, Arsene Wenger, Damien Rice, Peggy Olsen and overly long podcasts. Tweets at @parthsarora.
Confused about most stuff. Writes things.