Minister Upset with Virat Kohli; Says He Should Have Asked the Man to Go to Pakistan


Minister Upset with Virat Kohli; Says He Should Have Asked the Man to Go to Pakistan

Illustration: Arati Gujar

Virat Kohli, who has been at the receiving end of hate from “trolls” after he asked a critical Tweeter to leave India, has now upset a BJP minister. Though the neta agreed with Kohli on one thing — people who don’t like all things Indian, should leave the country — he said he expected the Indian skipper to be more precise.

“What did Kohli mean by leave the country? That’s not enough. He should have asked the man to go to Pakistan,” said the minister, who didn’t want to be named since his party bosses had warned him not to talk about anything but renaming cities and building statues until 2020. The sentiment was echoed by human loudspeaker and largest employer of retired Pakistani army generals, Arnab Goswami.

The minister also hit out at actor Siddharth, who suggested King Kohli could learn something from stalwarts like Rahul Dravid. “Jiska naam mein Rahul hai, woh kya sikha payega,” the minister asked. “If Kohli really wants to learn how to put anti-nationals in their place, I would recommend he listen to Giriraj bhai or Yogi ji’s inspiring speeches during his morning workout routine.”

However, the minister commended Kohli for showing restraint and not using words like BC and MC every seven seconds like he has in the past. Additionally, he asked Kohli to ask people two questions the next time he’s in such a situation: Do they eat beef? And do they like/retweet every picture of PM Modi on social media?

“From the answers we can decide whether the concerned person is just a regular anti-national or an extremely dangerous Urban Naxal,” the minister said.

The minister believes that before Kohli cleans India, he should clean his home. “Ask Anushka to stop using her iPhone and use the latest made-in-India Patanjali phone. Otherwise tell her go to California. Also, why was Virat supporting Germany in the football World Cup and not India? If India is not playing, why watch the tournament?”

The minister didn’t even spare Kohli’s teammate Ravindra Jadeja, who has in the past spoken about his love for music. “If he wants to listen to singers like Rihanna, let him go to Barbados wearing his Bermudas. We have enough players brought up on Laxmi Dubey’s patriotic songs to choose from.”