Uttarakhand Government Announces “Gau Getters”, an Exciting Reality Show for Our Rashtra Mata Cow

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Uttarakhand Government Announces “Gau Getters”, an Exciting Reality Show for Our Rashtra Mata Cow

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

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fter the Uttarakhand Government performed the all-important legislative task of passing a bill to have the cow appointed the Rashtra Mata, they arrived at the realisation that you can’t have a mother without children. To find the best gau rakshaks in all the land, the government announced a new reality show titled Gau-Getters. The winner will receive a prize of a herd of high-yield milch cows and the keys to a special gaushala designed by Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla.

Naturally, the question of how such a profligate enterprise would be funded arose almost immediately. Luckily the answer was staring everyone in the face, or rather, the fuel tank. “We will simply add the Gau cess to the price of petrol and diesel. Nobody should even realise, with all the taxes and duties we’ve already slapped on to the cost,” said a senior minister of the state government.

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