Uncle Crackers: The Guy in Every Neighbourhood Who Gets Turned On By Laxmi Bomb

Humour

Uncle Crackers: The Guy in Every Neighbourhood Who Gets Turned On By Laxmi Bomb

Illustration: Arati Gujar

I

t’s that time of the year again, when my roommate’s asthma is acting up and twitchy stray dogs walk around the streets with haunted expressions. Those two things, along with the sound of rassi bombs being detonated at 7.30 am can only mean one thing – it’s Diwali, the festival of crackers. It used to be the festival of lights, but who are we kidding? The lights are now all made in China, so let’s celebrate the typically Indian aspect of every festival: Generating more sound pollution than a Himesh Reshammiya concert on religious holidays.

Thankfully, crackers are not able to burst themselves. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people ready and willing to do the honours. They are led by their king, Uncle Crackers. There’s an Uncle Crackers in every neighbourhood, housing society, and gali across the country, waiting for the one time of the year he can allow his inner pyromaniac out to play. For most of the year, he blends in, probably playing gully cricket with younger lads on Sunday (only batting, never fielding), or hanging out at the cigarette shop talking about politics with the shopkeeper. But come Diwali, and he’s easily identifiable as the maniac standing in the middle of the street with lit bottle rockets in his hand.

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