How to Survive a Visit to the Bank, the Seventh Circle of Hell

Humour

How to Survive a Visit to the Bank, the Seventh Circle of Hell

Illustration: Juergen D'Souza

G

oing to the bank is like descending through the Seven Circles of Hell. Haggling with the sabziwala, taking your dog to the vet because she ate a whole bar of Dairy Milk, wrapper and all, or even getting your engine serviced for an exorbitant fee only to have it sputter as soon as you hit a pothole – none of these everyday headaches can hold a candle to a day at the bank.

And a day it inevitably is, since banking hours are specially engineered to be as inconvenient as possible. Why is your branch closed on every third-and-a-half Saturday, sirs, or whenever there is a full moon in Pisces with an easterly wind? Is this when all the bankers go and perform a ritual sacrifice to an idol of Vijay Mallya while making it rain with our money?

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