New RBI Governor Enjoys Reading Economics Books in Free Time, Says He’ll Get The Hang of It Soon

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New RBI Governor Enjoys Reading Economics Books in Free Time, Says He’ll Get The Hang of It Soon

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

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haktikanta Das’s appointment as new RBI Governor has raised a few questions about his educational qualifications, especially in comparison to his predecessors, Urjit Patel and Dr Raghuram Rajan. The government, we learn, has moved swiftly into damage control mode, and in an attempt to snuff out any such doubts, held a press conference today reinforcing the PM’s message that hard work trumps Harvard.

“These trolls have nothing better to do,” said Ramakanta Mahapatra, member of the government, and the dean of Gorakhpur Math Coaching Classes. “How can someone compare a wholly Made-in-India career to those of a couple of ex-International Monetary Fund economists, who have studied at foreign universities?”

“To those who think foreign education holds any value, I’d like to remind you that Vijay Mallya also has an honorary PhD from a foreign university. We know they only teach lies,” Mahapatra added, revealing that in ancient India, sage Amitabh Bachchan had proved that “do aur do equals paanch”.

Mahapatra went on to share a few startling facts about Das, which even his Wiki page had failed to mention. “Das has an MA in History from Delhi University but was unable to study Economics because the college was too far from his house and the metro wasn’t built yet. Thanks, Sheila Dixit…”

“But recently, he’s been showing immense interest in the subject. He bought a copy of Freakonomics from Crossword, and read it in only four months!” Mahapatra said, showing us the notes Das had left behind. The words “demonetisation”, “old notes”, and “very bad” were marked out on the page.

Mahapatra also drew attention to the leadership qualities Shaktikanta Das had displayed in the days following demonetisation.

PM Modi announced the scheme and went abroad, the finance minister got bored in a couple of days and went back to blogging. Shaktikanta was the only person who gave us daily updates,” he said. “I’ll always remember these lines: ‘Lehron ke saath toh koi bhi tair leta hai… par asli insaan woh hai joh lehron ko cheer kar aage badta hai.’”

To those who think foreign education holds any value, I’d like to remind you that Vijay Mallya also has an honorary PhD from a foreign university.

“Initially I thought he was applauding the people who were jumping ATM queues to reduce their waiting time. But one day, I accidentally came across Kavi Kumar Vishwas, who explained to me what the two lines meant.”

Mahapatra ended our conversation at North Block, where he used to work. As we entered the finance ministry, we were treated to a flash mob that sang the following lyrics:

Dil ye bechein ve
RBI coffers pe nain ve
Fiscal deficit behaal hai
Growth hai na peace hai
Aaja Reserve Bankiya
Aa aa aa aa
Taal se taal milaa

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