After Sexual Harassment Charge, Raju Hirani Plans Own Biopic as Defence

Humour

After Sexual Harassment Charge, Raju Hirani Plans Own Biopic as Defence

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

Weeks after an assistant director accused Raju Hirani of sexual harassment, the director announced that he plans to create a biopic on his own life, to defend himself from what he calls “false allegations”.

Tentatively titled MeToo – The Real Raju Hirani Story, the film has found the support of currently-out-of-work actors Dia Mirza, Arshad Warsi, and Sharman Joshi, and promises to be as famously unbiased as his previous biopic, Sanju.

Sources say, Boney Kapoor, who investigated the sexual harassment charge with the help of the now-defunct CID, is being roped in to write the screenplay for the six-hour-long film. Soon after, Chetan Bhagat indicated on Twitter that he might be willing to write a novel based on the movie when he gets an afternoon off DM-ing random women.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea,” Raju Hirani’s accountant said. “A biopic is the best way to tell the public the truth about these completely malicious allegations. Oh, and also make about ₹500 crore, no big deal.”

“I’m willing to co-produce the biopic in case Hirani’s close friend Vidhu Vinod Chopra doesn’t come out in support of him,” an opportunistic producer told us. “Please, please consider me Hirani Sir, you are the greatest.”

“If Raju Hirani can make Sanjay Dutt – who was a hundred times worse than Hardik Pandya – look like a polished gentleman, imagine what he can do for his own image,” Hirani’s public relations manager said. “After Ram Mandirs, they’ll be building Raju Mandirs, mark my words.”

“We’ll have to release the movie before the Prime Minister’s biopic comes out,” the PR manager added. “Forget about redeeming himself, Raju won’t get a single screen to release it if there is a potential clash in dates.”

The movie’s aspiring producer isn’t too worried about the looming deadline, however. “We can have the entire film up and in theatres by April,” he told us. “Hum Sajid Khan ka biopic nahi bana rahe hai, ki humme zyada kaam karna padega. Lol.”

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