How Single Are You?


How Single Are You?

Illustration: Ahmed Sikandar

Looking for movies to watch for your latest edition of Netflix and Chill.
Debating the merits of beer vs hard liquor before stepping out for a drink with your friends.
Swiping hard on Tinder hoping you don’t spend the evening alone, again.
Worrying frantically about sending those pending reports before your boss switches off for the weekend.

La La Land 2: La La La Land
Tiger Buddha Ho Gaya
Golmaal Returns Once Again Dobara
Avengers Infinity War Part 3

Hanging out, talking about stuff, basically being millennial
Playing FIFA on your brand new PS4

Household items
Stuff, random stuff, like a brand new bass guitar.

Mad Men
Rick and Morty
Bojack Horseman

Burger and fries, with extra fries
Fried chicken
All of the above

Well-maintained beard
Clean-shaven, cheeks as smooth as a baby’s behind.
Beard à la Baba Ramdev

This morning
Last night
Option B
A couple of days ago, because water is a dwindling natural resource and needs to be conserved

Smile and then look away
Walk over and drop a pick-up line
Think about walking over but then decide not to for the fear of rejection
Start picking out the names of your future offspring and what colour you want the living room painted

I don’t kiss and tell
Last week
A couple of months ago
Once upon a time, a long time ago, when a man named Barack Obama was president of the US