What Rainy Day Conversations Sound Like to Me

Humour

What Rainy Day Conversations Sound Like to Me

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

Me: Bhaiyya, aap pluviophile ho? Powai chaloge?
Rickshaw driver: Nahi sahab, hum sapiosexual hai, hum meter se jaate hai.
Me: Dubai jayega ch**iye?

Boyfriend: Send clouds.
Girlfriend: Ok
Boyfriend: It’s all grey, foggy, and blurred. Send a better one.

Kid: Where does rain come from dad?
Dad: Well beta, when two clouds love each other very much, they come close together, rub against each other… that’s how it rains.
Kid: But Wikipedia says the water evaporates, it condenses to form clouds and the clouds precipitate to form rain.
Dad: Cancel the damn internet.

HR: Any employee found indulging in cloud blogging from office during working hours will be terminated.

Teacher: We caught your son watching Cloud Porn in class.
Father: Aur dilao laadle ko smartphone. What Cloud Porn was it exactly? Asian?
Mother: Mere parvarish me kya kami reh gayi thi?

Modiji: Rainy din aane wale hai.
IMD: Sir, inaccurate forecast dena humara kaam hai. Aap desh chalaiye.

Rainy day

Guy 1: Will you look at the clouds on that one? I’d let her end my drought.
Guy 2: Stop objectifying weather, bro.
Guy 1: What? Didn’t you keep talking about your ex’s clouds all the time?

Girl: Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Guy: I’m a cats and dogs person during the monsoon. Lol.
Girl: *Blocks*

Girlfriend: Here’s the clouds you asked for earlier. Hope they’re less blurry this time.
Boyfriend: Damn babe, you turn my drizzle into a deluge.

Guy: My favourite author is Murakami.
Girl: Is it that time of the year already.

Patient: Give it to me straight doctor, how bad is it?
Doctor: Well it’s not 26/7, but it’s not Milan subway after an hour of rain either.

FB Post: To anyone stranded in Lower Parel. I can offer shelter, food, and clean towels. DM me for details. Share this status to help your friends. Like and heart react for validation. #MumbaiFloods2018 #HelpEachOtherOut #MumbaiSpirit
Comment one: Validation
Comment two: #PajamasAndUno
Comment three: Chup tharki

Cop: Tumhara indicator nahi chal raha hai. Licence dikhao.
Anu Malik: Dekho…
Also Anu: Baarish ho rahi hai. It’s raining, it’s raining, it’s raining.

Girl: I like your perfume
Girl: Aww… thanks it’s called Sweat and Petrichor During Rush Hour.

IMD Scientist: Honey, I’m working late on those forecasts. It could take a while, don’t wait up.
Wife: Remember how we used to forecast when we just started dating? You spend more time at the office than at home. You don’t even make me precipitate anymore.

Mumbai Police: Floods are bad, don’t do floods kids.

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